so what does love look like?

is it a jawline
the curve of a breast
the slant of a smile
or snuggled up against a chest?

is it a feeling
the scent of sweetness
the sparkle in an eye
or a heart beat that doesn't rest?

is it special
a beautiful mess
is it just like everyone else
or is it better than the best?


is it real
something to confess
is this what life is all about

... or is it all just a test?

holy canadian bacon, batman!

wabbit has wetuwned.

mondays are highly underrated.

they get such a bad rap... everyone always wining and complaining that they have to go through another week on the job, drifting through the motions, dealing with all the crap they want to put off.

it's fucking sad that our society thinks this way. only living for 2/7ths of our existence.

but caffeine is a blessing and i am happy to be in the 19th hour of this day. even if i should be asleep as to prepare for the 17 hour day that is approaching.

im diggin this monday because it's the best damn day i've had without involving some romantical or sexual interaction with a male in a long ass time.

i worked from 10am until 7pm today... spending the surrounding 2 hours rubbernecking in traffic. the other 6 hours of this day went to shmoozing with my extended family (3 hrs) and having such a genuinely good time with a close friend (3 hrs).

fucking i LOVE good conversation. the kind that makes your eyes bug and your hands shake (ok, maybe the coffee had something to do with that too, but it's the words i want to smoke up and choke out high, high, hiiiii.)

hiu.

it's true what they say. having too much to do definitely forces you into better time management. the busiest day ever and yet i am writing one of the first real posts in at least 3 weeks. the stream of consciousness diary entry.

i smell like coffee, cigs, BO and sex. that's goodnight.

po' folk woes.

the worst part about being broke is trying to get out of social activities without looking like a tool. i hate having to come up with some excuse as to why i can't hang out with friends and family...

i've managed to just avoid everyone and everything and therefore just not get into a situation where money would be needed.

however, my roommate caught me spending my last $16 on gas so we could go out in Bethesda to a bar and dance club and she said that she "just couldn't imagine spending the last of her money so she could go out."

well i couldn't imagine it either...

but the truth of the matter is that i need social activity. more than a steady intake of food, a nice wardrobe or HBO and pay per view every month.

if that makes me stupid or shallow... then so be it. but i'd rather pay to have an evening of good times and just eat ramen noodles for a whole week than have gourmet frozen dinners and not have a life.

gah. i dunno. maybe i should just suck it up and get a damn 9 to 5. just be like everyone else... living for their weekends.

... yeah right.

hi!

::waves::

we could make beautiful music together.

i wanted to take some time to plug a certain sumbuddy and his new blog. i have a feeling he will be very lazy and sporadic with his writing... but if you go through the archives you'll see like i do that the quality is there when he makes an effort. heh. reminds me of me.


however... i'm way more excited about his music page. check the tunes out... you'll dig them! hopefully he's got more info about his upcoming album, so if you are interested in hearing more of his stuff, shoot me an email or leave a comment or something and i'll see if i can send out some ep's.

well. it's official:

i am a moron.

over the last 2 weeks my car lost a lot of oil. how, you ask? i haven’t noticed any spots under the car in places that i have parked, and there hasn’t been any nasty burning smell or smoke coming from underneath my hood… so i have no idea. either way, when dan heard my car rattling, he checked the oil level to find it WAY below minimum. so… before he left for home on sunday, he bought me 4 qts of oil. since my car holds 5 qts, i figured putting 3 in would be appropriate to bring me up to a safe level again.

yeah. here’s where the moron part comes in. read more...

as the snot drips...

this morning while i was carrying laundry downstairs, my ankle decided to crack and twist completely off (at least, that's what it felt like). i laid in the foyer of my basement in the fetal position surrounded by my dirty underwear for what seemed like the longest five minutes of my life. the crowning moment was when the snot started to drip out of my nostril onto the floor.

i have had the same pimple on my left jaw line for over 2 weeks. it now has a friend about an inch away from my mouth. at first... i thought it was a mosquito bite because it itched like my butt crack when i don't wipe thoroughly. then i thought it was just the mother of all pimples too big and not ripe enough to pop yet. but when no whitehead appeared... i had to face facts.

this bitch is a cold sore.

i have been sniffling all day. and sneezing. and my mother and i are sharing hot flashes. so either i'm going through menopause or i have a fucking fever.

this is not a good time for me to be a sick gimp. but then again... when is?

voting is for cool kids. so you should probably forget about it.

i think i'll be a democrat today.

that way when my parents say "damn liberals" i can yell at them for cussing about me.

the courtroon was a lot brighter than i imagined. probably because most of the court shows i watch have wood panels and warm, dim lighting with spotlights on the judge.

"We used to dance like that."
"Yeah. When we were delusional and didn’t know how to harness our sexual energy."
"Do you even know how to speak without using psycho-sexual babble anymore?"
"But it’s all psycho-sexual babble. It encompasses our every word, thought and action."

There was no point in trying to discuss the matter any further. She looked to the floor and started to feel sorry for her feet. They hadn't stayed out all night until it hurt in a long time. The pity party started to crawl up the her legs and settled in between her hips. They hadn't stayed up all night until it hurt in a long time either.