The other day, oom oom and I were at Safeway. There was only one item on our shopping list: tampons.
Quite simply, I had left the house without backup. And after a quad venti cup of skim, no whip white mocha heaven... I needed to pee.
But before we get any deeper into this, let me say that Safeway has a horrible aisle numbering/labeling system. So after a lap around the entire building, I settled in to examine and determine my feminine reciprocal product of choice.
Some women are very particular about the brand/size/type of applicator they use... and while I would like to have certain standards for anything I voluntarily shove into my tunnel of love... my bottom line is my budget.
After much deliberation, I decided to go with 2 packages of 20 Regular, Unscented Pearls, not for the excellent marketing campaign, but for the little sign below them saying "2 for $4."
We mosey on up to check out, I hand the cashier my club card, she scans my packages with great care, and proceeds to tell me that my total is $12 and some change.
Sigh. "I thought those were on sale, 2 for $4." I offer to run back and check the sign, but apparently I am not trustworthy. The cashier begins by paging a female coworker to come up to our station for a price check. No such female coworker appears. She walks over to a neighboring female cashier to ask her for help, but she offers no real advice.
But then! Pimple-faced adolescent male stock boy comes to the rescue! He disappears down the aisle, returning to say that only the Safeway brand tampons are on sale. I apologize for wasting her time, as she seemed very flustered and worried that her other customers would be mad for having to wait these 5 extra minutes, and attempt to take the tampons back to exchange them for the cheaper option. But no, no, no... let's make this a little more awkward. Have the pimple boy accompany me back, carrying the scorned tampons for me.
After I apologized to him for the most cliche of situations, he turned a little red and scampered away. It was only then that oom oom and I began the debriefing.
The sign was not where it was when we first walked down the aisle. Clearly, it had been misplaced, and that is why the sale price did not come up. I get it. No big deal. But the Safeway brand tampons that WERE on sale... the only ones left were the scented ones. And I'm sorry, but I don't need potpourri ANYWHERE near my hoo haw. That's just doing nature a disservice.
In the end, I went with a Kotex Regular UNSCENTED 36 pack... but mine aren't purple like the website leads you to believe. This item was on sale for $6... and I am very pleased with the performance thus far.
Unfortunately, when I went back up to the check out, my beloved cashier had the longest line in the place, so I did not get to share a knowing glance or witty quip with her.
Alas... my Price Check Episode was left anticlimactic and unfulfilled (much like this blog entry?).
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6 comments:
Jesus, you must be a good writer. I just read an epic post about feminine hygiene products, without flinching.
potpourri + hoo haw = pudpourri
i love a good adventure. so uh when's the next one?
but see, the ones you gave me SUCKED.
i think quality trumps cost when it comes to tam-poons
Did you know that Robert used to have to stock the feminine products aisle at Giant when he worked there when we were growing up?
Ask D about that. I'm sure she'd crack up about it :)
shenry, i suggest that one of us writes about boogers next. we need to cover all of the bodily functions, i think.
oom oom, why are you asking ME when the next adventure is? geeze. you act like i'm the only one with a retarded schedule around here.
and suspect... the visuals i have in my head right now are too perfect for words.
yeah, quality is important. i pay big bucks to stick things up there that work...
...i mean...what?!
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