There is nothing poetic about this unhappiness. It is stale, old and familiar.
He told me once, he said through wide eyes that didn't want to believe what they were saying... he said that I liked being unhappy.
I wonder if he is right.
I wonder if I build these situational cells so that I can sit trapped inside of them. So I can bitch, complain, and yet stay safe and dry...
Hidden from that storm waiting outside.
It's time for me to get wet. It's time for me to get the hell out of dodge. It's time for some new problems, with new people, in new relationships.
I just wonder how much more I have to bleed before I will pull out this knife I have stabbed myself in the side with...
Saturday, December 20, 2008
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3 comments:
maybe he is, maybe he isn't. the point is, you can't sit hiding from the things going on in the world outside. rather than just having an awareness of what's wrong, you gotta DO something with it.
i have full confidence in you...after tonight, you should have no trouble acknowledging how much good you are capable of doing for yourself and the world.
We all get off on different things. Some people like the buzz of adrenal rushes, some like the muck of depression, some like the chaos of drama, et. al. Good luck discovering what gets you off.
what are you afraid of?
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