Normally, I would have fallen asleep to visions of our locked lips and whispered giggles... with hopes of an implied tango beginning between our hearts.
But I'm not playing the idealistic idiot card anymore.
I think I drew out the evening because I knew it was never going to happen again. Because I wanted a chance to truly see him. To try and enjoy him.
But I just couldn't.
It was too much like all of the others before. The waiting around, the uncomfortable boredom while the smoke was shared, and the lack of stimulating conversation that followed.
Yes. I wanted to be wanted.
But not by someone like him. And not. On a night like that.
I am getting better. I am recognizing the rad flags a lot sooner.
But I still have a long way to go.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
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3 comments:
you are a very smart and self aware person miss. some recognize those same red flags way beyond the point of no return.
and some of us never see them at all.
we're gonna be okay, sis.
it's allowed.
i took a few steps back myself last night.
wouldn't it be more helpful if instead of red flags (which I tend to enjoy looking at), we get sirens and a really loud, honking buzzer with a light-up sign that says stay the FUCK away? yes.
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