a lot of people have been asking me where i was this weekend and how i am doing... and i feel as though i need to explain myself a bit. the reason i have not been inclined to talk about things is a very simple one: i'm sick and tired of having so many problems and issues that i need to deal with.

and no, don't try to pull that "the only way to help get through these things is to talk about them" crap with me because i've talked everything in my life to death. talk, talk, talk talk talk... it gets draining and old. i figure i just need to do what i have to do and not waste my time trying to explain everything to everyone.

everyone has issues and things they need to deal with. especially at this point in our lives. college is a mind trip and an overload. and let's just say that i am feeling both of those right now.

it makes me sad that i have come to expect and accept the worst in my life. it is almost the norm for me. things happen for a reason... and i know that i will go through what i need to go through in this life even if it does have a rediculously negative undertone. i know that there is a point to all this. holding on to sight of that is what my challenge is. and it is a personal challenge... one that i don't need to share with the world... yet, anyways.

so again, thank you to everyone who has offered and hinted at being there for me, listening to me, trying to give me advice and just checkin up on me and reminding me that they care. i appreciate it more than you know.

my life has taken a pretty big turn this weekend, one that has made me re-prioritize. and unfortunately, this means nanowrimo will be an unsuccessful adventure for me this year. i will write a book. many books. i am just not supposed to do it right now. i have to live the story before i can write it.

love.