My cell phone alarm just went off. Not because I was napping and didn't want to sleep the evening away... but because I needed to be reminded. To take my birth control pill. This is only my second dose and I'm already so very aware of my body... waiting to see what, if any, effect the hormones will have on me.
Everything about this feels so sneaky. So private. Like I shouldn't even be writing about it because "these types of things" don't need to be discussed in public realms. I even lied to my father about what my prescription was for... and that is just something I can't do very easily.
Part of me feels like an idiot for even mentioning it. At my age, I "should not" just be discovering the wonders of birth control... and documenting the fact that I am so late to the game makes me want to feel sorry for myself.
I can't help it that I am excited to explore and write about this new aspect of my life and my love... even if half the people in the world are shaking their heads in pity for me while the other half are shaking their finger in anger at me.
I just don't like how this feels. Not one bit.
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