Happy Cinco De Mayo: Now Go Piss In This Cup.

I want to write something. I want to share everything that has been going on. But every time I sit down and try to get it all out... something seems to stop me. No. That's a lie. Not something. It's a particular thing. I'm fucking embarrassed.

See... I'm sick again. My fever came back and spiked 103 degrees this time. I went to the doctor's today (finally), and she reamed me a new one for putting it off. Because I didn't get my UTI treated earlier, my kidneys are now infected. She put me on this uber-antibiotic, so fingers crossed I'll get better. At least I got this hot Spiderman Band-Aid out of the whole deal.

The cold flashes and head aches that I have been getting are like nothing I've ever experienced before. I can remember friends of mine telling me about anxiety attacks and migranes... but I never really believed that they could be as severely crippled by pain as they described. Obviously, my opinion on the matter has changed.

Over-worked doesn't even begin to describe my current state of being. I'm working 10 hour days and putting work-out sessions in-between jobs. Not a smart move for someone with a bungee chord fever. Seems as though I learned the "in moderation" rule a little too late.

I've been stubborn. With Grey gone and my new motivation to live healthier, I jumped head-first into a totally different lifestyle and schedule, and didn't give my immune system (or my brain) any time to adjust. I just feel stupid. And mad at myself.

Because my fever got so high again last night, I had to cancel on a wedding date I had for this evening, and miss out on a house/cat-sitting job I had for this weekend. I also have no idea if I will be able to work the closing shift at the pub tomorrow night that my boss desperately needs me to cover, or actively participate in my softball team's practice on sunday.

The burst of positive energy that I felt last week has been flushed down the toilet. All I can do is wait for my body to get better... and hope that the world will still have things for me to do. Until then, my goal is to distract my brain from throwing yet another pity party with cheesy romantic comedies.