"A Cold and Broken Halleluiah"

For Christmas last year, Carolyn bought me a few books. Most of them poking fun at the fact that I like books. One in particular, entitled "The Oracle Book," requires a finely tuned divinitive intuition (which I, of course, happen to possess). You ask a clear, yes-or-no question and run your thumb across the edges until you feel it is right to stop. The answer you seek is on that page.

Sitting on the floor of my new room, in my new apartment, just me and the cats, I was listening to a poignant mixed CD, bawling my heart out. The book was on the shelf right at my eye-level, taunting me, so I asked it the second question I have ever asked it.

The first question I asked it was, "Will I have sex in 2006?" And while I do not remember the exact phrasing, the answer was yes. Little did we all know that very shortly after the new year, the book’s all-knowing power would be proven. Now, I have respect for such awesome power, so I thought it wise not to bother it unless the matter was really pressing.

So this question:

"Will fuzzi and I stay together?"

I thought that was important enough to tempt fate.

A hazy shape
in the
crystal ball
indicates
you’re too unsure
of yourself
to proceed.

And you thought this was a satirical post, didn't you?