2007 Reflections

January found me substitute teaching, working with Show Choir, Rock N Soul, Winterguard @ PB, AND Spring Guard @ QO -- and yet, I was job searching like a maniac. I stumbled upon a fabulous mentor, revamped my resume and set out to change the world (or at least mine). I began with cutting off one of my best friends.

In February I got another job: Freelancing for Montgomery Village News. It didn't make me much money, but it did make me a published reporter. I also started training with the Reading Buccaneers Drum and Bugle Corps.

Things took a turn for the worst in March, when I found myself a new dentist... and $3,000 worth of work that needed to be done. Officially, I was back in debt. This lead to me dropping the hopes of marching with the Buccs, and the downward spiral slowly began.

You would think that being offered the position of Colorguard Coordinator for the WVU Marching Band in April would have been a good thing, but it was really my dream job with nightmare conditions (read: not enough money to survive on). I still wonder what my life would be like if I had taken the job anyway. I was however, able to take on the day to day managing of my then-favorite writing exercise oneword, and I did go to NYC with the QO choral department... but I remember feeling very lost and unhappy deep down.

I started yet another job in May, working at my mother's office. It was one of the worst decisions I have ever made. I was having problems with everything from my relationships to my living situation to my jobs to my creative block, and my unhappiness started showing itself in fits of crying and fighting with Dave, my friends and my family.

In June I tried to rekindle the friendship I cut off in January, but it was hard. I got hurt with all of the sneaking around and lying. I felt powerless -- I wasn't happy with how things were, but was too desperate for the friendship to cut it off again. The whole month was like a blur... I retreated further into my relationship, and hid my unhappiness in working out at the gym and dance classes.

I saw the fireworks on the Mall for the first time on July fourth. I also got offered a job as the Office Manager of the District of Columbia Arts Center. But again, I couldn't take it -- this time because of scheduling conflicts with colorguard. Dave found a house in DC, and thus began the real decline in our relationship.

Connecticut was my escape from everything in August. But it all came crashing down -- quite literally -- when I came home and almost blacked out at the Virgin Fest. Band camp didn't wait for me to recover, or to reconnect with Dave.

September was full of colorguard, Show Choir, working at my mom's office, substitute teaching, writing for MVF and trying to hold onto Dave. I was interviewing again for a better job, but this time didn't get it (working for a journalism center on UMD's campus).

In October, my car died. I was in debt, had no car, my lease was up and I started working as an intern for Brijit, an awesome gig, but STILL not enough money to get by on. With the office being in Dupont Circle, I thought being so close to Dave would have made things easier on us, but the truth is, we just weren't getting along like we used to. Halloween may have been one of the worst holidays of my life... and I should have seen it coming.

November, it is safe to say, crushed my soul. It brought the end of my relationship with Dave, and the death of my Uncle Rich. I have never experienced so much loss in such a short period of time (including my weight).

But I truly bounced back in December (much like my flagpole bounced off my face!), as shown in the holiday posts below. I think most of that was because of the support of my family, and more importantly, one of my new best friends, Laura. I celebrated the most successful colorguard season of my career, established a new winterguard program, auditioned for a band, got to play a couple gigs, found a niche hanging out with my brother and his friends, started writing again, had the best Christmas of my adult life, partied at a friend's wedding and rang in the new year in ol' Deep Conversation Club fashion.

Looking at all of that, knowing that so many other little things were omitted... I am completely dumbfounded at how much can happen in a year. I am also very proud of myself that I have finally become strong enough to walk away from situations that are hurting me. But it's not enough.

What's on tap for 2008? You might want to sit down for this!

After the winterguard season is over, I am getting a car, packin' my bags, and heading to Connecticut. I plan on mooching off the goodwill of my cousins for a month or so, study for the GRE's, and research grad programs in Boston for marriage and family therapy.

Upon my return home, I will be preparing for my biggest marching band season ever -- not only will I be colorguarding, but I might even be writing drill for the entire band. No pressure or anything. Whilst all that is going on, I have to take the GRE's and apply to the grad schools mentioned earlier... in hopes of admittance for the fall of 2009.

Crossroads, anyone? All I can say is that it's about. damn. time.