Pass the 40s: hey
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Auto response from AmngStarz: don't lose your way...
just let me sleep... ;-)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pass the 40s: so i heard
Pass the 40s: a few choice words
Pass the 40s: that makes me believe
Pass the 40s: as ive been talking to you
Pass the 40s: you have been extremely fake
Pass the 40s: sorority girl fake, even
Pass the 40s: because i met a few oas who were asking me what the beef was all about
Pass the 40s: and i was of course caught unawares
Pass the 40s: and i of course did not respond in kind
Pass the 40s: to the trash talking that i am led to believe you have been a part of
Pass the 40s: or rather to main part
Pass the 40s: the
Pass the 40s: so i apologize for believing that you could actually be reasonable
Pass the 40s: and i retract any apology, friendship, or otherwise positive vive
Pass the 40s: viber
Pass the 40s: because i was sorely mistaken, and tonight it was revealed to me
Pass the 40s: i am sorry i spent time and energy on a worthless cause, a bitter bitch who has nothing better to do but increase the drama
Pass the 40s: goodbye
Pass the 40s signed off at 1:51:46 AM.
What a wonderful way to start the day.
Those cruchy bitch slaps to the brain go nicely with my bagel and cream cheese.
Matt, this is now public domain. I have done NOTHING to you, let alone try to hurt you- EVER. You take your insecurities out on me because you know that I am very emotional and take things like this very personally. You just repeatedly bend me over and ASS FUCK me every chance you get. Well, no more. I have nothing more to say to you except that you are an insecure, assuming, hyperly-paranoid and self-obsessed RETARD (pardon the non-PC use of the word). For someone who says how much they hate "drama," you sure have skills in being melodramatic.
You get to live the rest of your life knowing that you unfairly judged me and purposefully tried to hurt me more times than I can remember. Yes Matt, you hurt me. And if that's what you were looking for... then you win.
Hope you enjoy your prize.
_________________________________________________________________________
I have got to accept that not everyone is going to like me all of the time... and that's ok. I need to stop letting people like this make me feel this horrible.
No more time, energy, thought or love for people who do nothing but insist on trying to bring me down. I feel like I have had more than my fair share of friends who have taken advantage of me and how I deal with people. It seems like honesty is not the best policy... all it has ever done for me is get me called a liar and a fake.
Well, whatever - I'm real, honest, and fucking amazing. My mommy and daddy say so. You all can think what you want... I hope that it makes you feel better about yourselves. I'm done trying to justify myself, and walking around on eggshells for people because I want to only bring good things for them. No more sacrificing for people who do nothing but take.
I am emotional... and proud of it. The few people who know about this situation have advised me to just let it go and not even respond... to pretend it doesn't affect me... but that's not my style. I'm glad I have gotten to the point where experiences like these help me learn and grow. They make me stronger. And I want that to be well documented. Having such painful and sad emotions really help me appreciate the positive and warm emotions I get from other people in my life.
Self-righteous and bitchy- yes.
Bitter- you bet your fat ass.
Worthless- yipe! i just got a cramp from laughing.
Tuesday, June 25, 2002
What an amazing trip. I have no clue where to start.
Hook Hat boyz. 4wheelers. Hotel room keys. Jetskiis. Food. Beanie Babies. Campfires and Sing-a-longs. Guestures. Food. Redheads. Stories. Fireworks. Bruises. Food. Soccer? Surprise Party. Pictures. Y'all. Food. Love.
"That's right. That's right." - Kurk (on everything)
"She got run over by a damned ol' train!" - Charlie (on songs he knows how to sing)
"Man, you look like you were in a fire and all your hair got burnt off!"
"What did you say, Cracka?"
"I said that's fine... but your hair looks like velcro!"
-Dialogue between Charlie and one of his African American teammates
"He had this long, drawn out plan... but as soon as we got into the car it went PTTTHHHHHHHH."
- Liz, on Dad's schedule
"Michael, you probably shouldn't be closing all the blinds."
"I don't like people watching me eat."
- Operation Mildred's Tea House
"What are you staring at?"
"A tree."
- Paul proving that he is a pothead
"I bet it's because the spaghetti noodles are too short."
- Liz (on why everything is wrong with the world)
Hook Hat boyz. 4wheelers. Hotel room keys. Jetskiis. Food. Beanie Babies. Campfires and Sing-a-longs. Guestures. Food. Redheads. Stories. Fireworks. Bruises. Food. Soccer? Surprise Party. Pictures. Y'all. Food. Love.
"That's right. That's right." - Kurk (on everything)
"She got run over by a damned ol' train!" - Charlie (on songs he knows how to sing)
"Man, you look like you were in a fire and all your hair got burnt off!"
"What did you say, Cracka?"
"I said that's fine... but your hair looks like velcro!"
-Dialogue between Charlie and one of his African American teammates
"He had this long, drawn out plan... but as soon as we got into the car it went PTTTHHHHHHHH."
- Liz, on Dad's schedule
"Michael, you probably shouldn't be closing all the blinds."
"I don't like people watching me eat."
- Operation Mildred's Tea House
"What are you staring at?"
"A tree."
- Paul proving that he is a pothead
"I bet it's because the spaghetti noodles are too short."
- Liz (on why everything is wrong with the world)
Wednesday, June 19, 2002
So we leave for Alabama tomorrow morning... and man do I need the vacation. I am honestly looing forward to the drive... catchin up on sleep and listenin to my music! WoO! And duh, this is going to be great meeting my family!
I'll see everyone again on monday night (or tuesday morning)... good luck with the game and I hope Kinya doesn't fuck up the lights too bad. heh.
Peace.
I'll see everyone again on monday night (or tuesday morning)... good luck with the game and I hope Kinya doesn't fuck up the lights too bad. heh.
Peace.
Thursday, June 13, 2002
Wednesday, June 12, 2002
I'll put some of my new pix up soon... I promise.
That cookout with my dad and co. was totally awesome and my cousin Kurk is rad. And I was wrong, he is in the Air Force, not the Army. All of us are taking my dad to Summit Point Raceway for father's day this saturday. Should be one hell of a time.
While we were at the cookout we finally met Nancy's son, Jimmy. What a fuckin' tool. Physically he reminds me of Brandon's little brother- only a nerd. He was trying so hard to be cool and slick and I seriously had to fight the urge to laugh in his face when he shook my hand.
That cookout with my dad and co. was totally awesome and my cousin Kurk is rad. And I was wrong, he is in the Air Force, not the Army. All of us are taking my dad to Summit Point Raceway for father's day this saturday. Should be one hell of a time.
While we were at the cookout we finally met Nancy's son, Jimmy. What a fuckin' tool. Physically he reminds me of Brandon's little brother- only a nerd. He was trying so hard to be cool and slick and I seriously had to fight the urge to laugh in his face when he shook my hand.
Saturday, June 08, 2002
I got a scanner. And man is it being a bitch. I think installing the software for it has taken up all of the memory I have left. Time to downsize the musik folder.
The summer is going well, I am making some money (enough to pay car payments and buy myself something pretty). I am also applying to go back to work at Starbux because I'm really missing that work environment and I can use the money I earn from them to pay some stuff off this fall. I just really want to get over this sickie bug thing I have so I can get back into 5th gear. Moving slow and being idle really, really gets to me. I think that is why I am starting to go insane working in the orientation office. I feel like I am wasting so much time... and I find myself bringing other projects to do at work just so I don't read TGW every 10 minutes instead of every 20.
I haven't been writing anything lyrical lately. I think my brain has been stumped finishing my english project, which totally turned into a gigantic piece of doo doo. I'm so not pleased with the outcome of it... and don't really like the tone of my prose in it at all. I don't want to delete it because I put so much time into it... but damn, every time I read it, I get more and more upset with myself.
Either way, my new stance on the dating game is working out well for me. I'm actually thinking about other things and enjoying the time I spend with my friends more because I am not so preoccupied with finding a new guy. I've been doing fine on my own for the last year and some change... and even though I do miss that closeness with another person... I can get all the emotional fulfillment I need from my family, friends, faith and myself. ::gives self hug::
Haha, yeah, it is pitiful in some ways, but whatever. When was the last time you got a hug that good?
That's what I thought.
By the way, I really need a new pair of slippers. Maybe I will find one while I'm in G'burg tonight or tomorrow. I miss my mommy and daddy and brother. And nonnie and snickers. As messy and weird as that household is... my family is really somethin else. Plus, my mommy will take care of me while I'm sick :)
I have a cookout to go to tomorrow with my dad, bro and my cousin, Kurk, whom I have never met. He goes to UMCP and is in the army. This get-together is in preparation for when the four of us go down to Alabama in a few weeks so I can meet my dad's half of the family for the first time ever. I am really, really excited and scared. Having a whole group of people you are supposed to be connected to... that's a lot of pressure. I hope they like me.
It makes me wonder why they haven't been a bigger part of my life. I mean, I kinda know why... my dad isn't really all about the extended kin aspect of family... and since the separation... there really was no appropriate time for him to take us down there... so I know there will be some awkwardness, but I am really looking forward to seeing the people that are related to half of me. Everyone says I am scarily similar to my father, and so I have a strange feeling about how we will all get along.
Talking about this makes me miss my grandmother.
The summer is going well, I am making some money (enough to pay car payments and buy myself something pretty). I am also applying to go back to work at Starbux because I'm really missing that work environment and I can use the money I earn from them to pay some stuff off this fall. I just really want to get over this sickie bug thing I have so I can get back into 5th gear. Moving slow and being idle really, really gets to me. I think that is why I am starting to go insane working in the orientation office. I feel like I am wasting so much time... and I find myself bringing other projects to do at work just so I don't read TGW every 10 minutes instead of every 20.
I haven't been writing anything lyrical lately. I think my brain has been stumped finishing my english project, which totally turned into a gigantic piece of doo doo. I'm so not pleased with the outcome of it... and don't really like the tone of my prose in it at all. I don't want to delete it because I put so much time into it... but damn, every time I read it, I get more and more upset with myself.
Either way, my new stance on the dating game is working out well for me. I'm actually thinking about other things and enjoying the time I spend with my friends more because I am not so preoccupied with finding a new guy. I've been doing fine on my own for the last year and some change... and even though I do miss that closeness with another person... I can get all the emotional fulfillment I need from my family, friends, faith and myself. ::gives self hug::
Haha, yeah, it is pitiful in some ways, but whatever. When was the last time you got a hug that good?
That's what I thought.
By the way, I really need a new pair of slippers. Maybe I will find one while I'm in G'burg tonight or tomorrow. I miss my mommy and daddy and brother. And nonnie and snickers. As messy and weird as that household is... my family is really somethin else. Plus, my mommy will take care of me while I'm sick :)
I have a cookout to go to tomorrow with my dad, bro and my cousin, Kurk, whom I have never met. He goes to UMCP and is in the army. This get-together is in preparation for when the four of us go down to Alabama in a few weeks so I can meet my dad's half of the family for the first time ever. I am really, really excited and scared. Having a whole group of people you are supposed to be connected to... that's a lot of pressure. I hope they like me.
It makes me wonder why they haven't been a bigger part of my life. I mean, I kinda know why... my dad isn't really all about the extended kin aspect of family... and since the separation... there really was no appropriate time for him to take us down there... so I know there will be some awkwardness, but I am really looking forward to seeing the people that are related to half of me. Everyone says I am scarily similar to my father, and so I have a strange feeling about how we will all get along.
Talking about this makes me miss my grandmother.
Wednesday, June 05, 2002
Sunday, June 02, 2002
I have had so much fun this weekend. Despite some retarded drama that tried to poke it’s head into my business… I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Partied for once, met some excellent new people… I’m totally excited about living in Robin’s room because the guys are actually respectable and quality. Yay.
Ladies, we just hafta test the waters…
Erk!
I definitely need to brush up on my beer pong skillz… and have built the perfect pong room with table and seating arrangement in one of the empty doubles to do so. This will be a key element in the success of our upcoming party ::hint hint::
Who’s the ho?
YOU ARE THE HO, I am the biatch.
Have discovered the insanely good time that playing 21 can be. I don’t even think we could have handled that shit sober. LOL, oh well.
SEVEN!
And David totally makes me melt into a pile of goo just like that girl Alex Mac from Nickelodeon (I think it was on Nickelodeon…). Not only is he the hottest, but he really is coming into his own being a DJ. I find it extremely troubling that there were so many from QO at that party… AND that the cops show up as soon as we do. Boo. And that Ryan… some things just never change.
“Can I get head?”
Ladies, we just hafta test the waters…
Erk!
I definitely need to brush up on my beer pong skillz… and have built the perfect pong room with table and seating arrangement in one of the empty doubles to do so. This will be a key element in the success of our upcoming party ::hint hint::
Who’s the ho?
YOU ARE THE HO, I am the biatch.
Have discovered the insanely good time that playing 21 can be. I don’t even think we could have handled that shit sober. LOL, oh well.
SEVEN!
And David totally makes me melt into a pile of goo just like that girl Alex Mac from Nickelodeon (I think it was on Nickelodeon…). Not only is he the hottest, but he really is coming into his own being a DJ. I find it extremely troubling that there were so many from QO at that party… AND that the cops show up as soon as we do. Boo. And that Ryan… some things just never change.
“Can I get head?”
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
