I got a scanner. And man is it being a bitch. I think installing the software for it has taken up all of the memory I have left. Time to downsize the musik folder.

The summer is going well, I am making some money (enough to pay car payments and buy myself something pretty). I am also applying to go back to work at Starbux because I'm really missing that work environment and I can use the money I earn from them to pay some stuff off this fall. I just really want to get over this sickie bug thing I have so I can get back into 5th gear. Moving slow and being idle really, really gets to me. I think that is why I am starting to go insane working in the orientation office. I feel like I am wasting so much time... and I find myself bringing other projects to do at work just so I don't read TGW every 10 minutes instead of every 20.

I haven't been writing anything lyrical lately. I think my brain has been stumped finishing my english project, which totally turned into a gigantic piece of doo doo. I'm so not pleased with the outcome of it... and don't really like the tone of my prose in it at all. I don't want to delete it because I put so much time into it... but damn, every time I read it, I get more and more upset with myself.

Either way, my new stance on the dating game is working out well for me. I'm actually thinking about other things and enjoying the time I spend with my friends more because I am not so preoccupied with finding a new guy. I've been doing fine on my own for the last year and some change... and even though I do miss that closeness with another person... I can get all the emotional fulfillment I need from my family, friends, faith and myself. ::gives self hug::

Haha, yeah, it is pitiful in some ways, but whatever. When was the last time you got a hug that good?



That's what I thought.

By the way, I really need a new pair of slippers. Maybe I will find one while I'm in G'burg tonight or tomorrow. I miss my mommy and daddy and brother. And nonnie and snickers. As messy and weird as that household is... my family is really somethin else. Plus, my mommy will take care of me while I'm sick :)

I have a cookout to go to tomorrow with my dad, bro and my cousin, Kurk, whom I have never met. He goes to UMCP and is in the army. This get-together is in preparation for when the four of us go down to Alabama in a few weeks so I can meet my dad's half of the family for the first time ever. I am really, really excited and scared. Having a whole group of people you are supposed to be connected to... that's a lot of pressure. I hope they like me.

It makes me wonder why they haven't been a bigger part of my life. I mean, I kinda know why... my dad isn't really all about the extended kin aspect of family... and since the separation... there really was no appropriate time for him to take us down there... so I know there will be some awkwardness, but I am really looking forward to seeing the people that are related to half of me. Everyone says I am scarily similar to my father, and so I have a strange feeling about how we will all get along.

Talking about this makes me miss my grandmother.