Wednesday, December 11, 2002

i'm really sad and scared.

i don't wanna move back home. i don't wanna screw up on my finals. i don't want to mess up the only sparkle of magic i have had over the last two years.

and well, it looks like i'm about to do all three of these things! and all within the same week! go me!!

.......


i know that i just need to suck this up and do what i need to do. i know this will make me stronger and better off. i know that i am doing the right things. but i also know that this is going to be hard. it's going to be hard and lonely. and i don't know how much lonelier my life could get.

i have to be prepared to deal with the choices i have made... but that sure as hell doesn't mean i am going to enjoy them all of the time.

who knows... this could be the beginnings of something new and beautiful... or a reaffirmation of what i need and want to do to avoid this in the future.

just know that if you see or talk to me over the next month or so, i am going to be out of it. utterly and completely out of it.

i'll need a hug.

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