hearts and matching crotches aflame!!

“You are like wet sand in my underpants.”

So most of us are already very aware of all the snow. I know. But I’m going to talk about it anyways. I love snow. Especially when you lay down in a big old pile of it and your seat starts getting damp. Oh oh, and I love it even more when your suck ass front wheel drive Tupperware on wheels piece of poop can’t even get out of its freaking parking space because the neighbors successfully used it as the architectural support for a paradise “Snow Mountain” that puts me in mind of a miniature golf course. Either that or they were just inconsiderate enough to uncover their own car by piling 3 feet of funk nasty black and yellow icified asphalt goobered snow right on top of my little fire crotch.

Yes. My car’s name is fire crotch.

I do like snow. I just wish I was better prepared for it. And I wish that this area wasn’t so butt-fuck retarded in regards to dealing with weather issues. Oh well.

“Star light. Star bright.
First star I see tonight.
I wish I may I wish I might…
Have this wish I wish tonight.”

“That’s Mars. You just wished on a planet.”

“Figures.”

So my valentine’s day was pretty interesting. Sorry it has taken me so long to write about it. I worked a mid at *bux and effectively filled out my first sexual harassment form. The guy kept making references – in front of customers and the managers - to my fire crotch… but not the one I drive. That’s weird that I am discussing multiple flaming crotches in the same post. Anywho… I was a little more than displeased with the attention. This kid and I have been at ends since I came back… I remember training him. I remember when he came out to Friday’s to hang with a bunch of the old crew. I remember all of his issues. But he refuses to acknowledge that and has been a little puissant for the last month and a half. So I don’t know why… but that day he decided we could be friends again and started messing with me. He took it too far. The manager wrote him up and gave him a little speechie speech… and now he won’t talk to me at all. Sigh. It’s not like I was trying to be a hyper-sensitive bitch about it… but I wasn’t going to let him get away with speaking to me like that. He is a horrible employee and embarrassed and disrespected me in front of a dozen people.

I care too much.

I did enjoy most of the shift, though. We got to give out valentines to our preferred customers and I got to do yoga with one of my coworkers in the backroom and then at the drive-thru window. I’m kinda nervous because I meet with the head honcho tomorrow to talk about my promotion and stuff. We shall see if my charm can win him over.

Right. V-day. After work I pampered myself with a quizznos’ sub, a bubble bath and a casually naked afternoon spent in a dream somewhere between awake and asleep. Then I made a candle-lit dinner for my mommie and nonnie… we ate it… and then I headed over to Berwin for a fantabulously enjoyable singles’ party. My boi showed up with the wheel of passion again and I came away with a few gropes, kisses, and some edible cinnamon body lotion.

Mmn.

I love boys.

And friggin, damn, Christian Slater in Untamed Heart.

So Allison and firefighter Matt accompanied me to the singles’ awareness party, and I think they had a marvelous time as well. I love surrounding myself with good people. And dizz has accomplished that as well with Mr. Patriotic Construction Guy. Kudos to her.

But….a party ain’t a party without beer pong.

… and a little bit of drama.

::all-knowing smirk::

and I must say… my claim to fame that night was the realization that I am a magnet for two things:

1. drama queens
2. drag queens

yep. The one gay boy at the party… by the end of the night… was sitting in my lap. I swear, I was born with the word “FAG HAG” engrained into my ass like some twisted, liberal cabbage patch kid.

Werd. Massive updation. Yer welcome.