purple prom king

i hung out saturday night with one of my favorite DQ's (that's drag queens because it's italicized. drama queens are just plain old DQ's).

he took me out to a musical review show called "songs for a new world." holy bananas this kid can write lyrics. jason robert brown. buying the soundtrack ASAP. oo oo, something to add to the shopping list. the show was totally inspiring and i was enthralled (usual for me whenever i see a performance of any kind). afterwards we rolled up to Friday's on the pike to visit an old coworker and indulge in a meal and a few drinks. well, my date has been involved/around the restaurant business for over 10 years now and i have learned a few things from him.

1. good bartenders squeeze the lime for you, and give you a new one every time you get a refill... and they squeeze that one too.

2. two people who eat two appetizers and then each have a soup and salad will not be able to consume their main course of the jack daniel's triple combo of chicken, shrimp and ribs. get a doggie bag. but they will indulge in a liquid dessert.

3. servers are highly recyclable. if you work one joint... you will most likely end up working at 8 others in the area too. unless yer like that one guy who sticks it out for 5yrs + (i just think he has a great sense of loyalty and dedication). then there is that whole boomerang effect that even i have fallen victim to at *bux. you think you can go out and make more money somewhere else... but end up comin home again because you know all the tricks.

4. if you wear a spiffy purple jacket... sketchy old men WILL touch you repeatedly. and hot guys from across the bar looking a little too "meatheadesque" WILL stare you down because they want to take you outside behind the dumpsters and really let you know how to take it up the butt.

5. if you drink as slowly as i do... always order shorts. because warm beer is wasted beer.

6. there will always be more guys at a bar than girls. this results in major badness. we'll call it the "inflated chicken head effect." because you are one of few girls there... you will always be approached. you are what us OA's refer to as ABD (attractive by default). so after a few weeks of this... your head gets big and you think you are hot shit. when really you are just an easy, sad ho and should wash your hair and buy jeans that fit.

7. being an inflated chicken head and referring to your good bartender by snapping your fingers and saying "hey beer girl... BEEEER GIIIRL.... por favor..." is the easiest way to get your check quickly.