In response ...

So I was reading this website. Hasn’t really been active in a while but I just had this feeling. I mean… the link from his buddy info was titled “confessions.”

I knew that he had dropped me an IM about my web page, and combining that with the handful of comments he has left on my site… and being that I am uber self-centered… I figured that there would be something about me up there.

And I must say that I am good. Very good.

Have a look for yourself... here.

This guy was a very close friend of mine in high school. Not exactly the kind that you hung out with everyday or talked to every night on the phone or anything… but someone you just easily clicked with. Someone you felt really caught the essence of who you were, and loved you for that.

I loved him for that.

Anyways, I guess this post is just my attempt to deal with such a challenge. In trying to think about my high school days and the people who were so important to me back then… it’s kind of fuzzy. I maybe speak to 3 of them on a regular basis now… and maybe a dozen others once in a while. Then there are the random encounters during breaks and various serendipities.

My closest friends- my powerhouse of support and social activity… yeah. Don’t really talk to any of them at all. Almost met up with them for lunch on Sunday, but everyone’s schedule was hectic.

And my best friend. I haven’t spoken to her in almost three years now.

I’m not saying all of this to justify not maintaining contact with anyone. We all know I’m bad at crossing social circles. I’m just trying to figure out why I am not having the same sort of problem with these facts.

I don’t mind that contact is not kept up. That’s how life is to grow up and move on. I will always consider my friends who just faded away my friends. Friendship is not something that I can disregard or pretend is not there. Even those friends that things ended badly with… I will always remember and acknowledge the time in my life when they were friends.

If my lack of current communication is making you feel like we weren’t close back in the day then you are full of poo and I don’t appreciate that. Just because I don’t write about you or IM you doesn’t mean that I don’t check your profile just like everyone else and it doesn’t mean that I don’t remember the good times we had.

But if you are certain that I don’t consider you a friend and that you need more from me to justify your desire to revive our friendship… then I’ll be totally honest in saying that I probably won’t meet your standards. Remember my posts about current friends?? How they all think I’m a horrid person and a bad friend?? Listen to them, save yourself the trouble and just start hating me now.

I don’t mean any of this to attack you or what you are feeling. I am just not opening myself into another pool of drama about what I should be doing in regards to my friendships. I truly believe that we pick our friends for a reason and that at certain times in our lives we will need certain relationships.

But if all of this is just an effort to hang out or something, stop pussy footing around the whole thing and ask me. I’ll say yes, dumbo.