it's a shame how fast bubbles pop.
and how ugly everything is when they do.
maryland has come crashing back... hitting me square in my figurative balls. all the bull crap. the stress. the people here that i'm afraid to admit i was hiding from.
the seemingly impossibleness that is trying to create for a living. the utter hopelessness of somehow acquiring enough money to function without compromising myself and my life. the overwhelming self doubt and insecurities that are only made worse by the presence of males you know don't think of you in that way. the jealousy and envy clouding my love for the people in my life who genuinely smile when they describe how things are going for them.
well FUCK YOU, bubble! fuck you for popping... but fuck you more for engulfing me in just another illusion that isn't real. just something else for me to be disappointed in.
i'm so pissed off at my attitude right now. i am not listening to myself whine and complain and dig deeper into this hole.
i'm building my own damn bubble. and no one gets to pop it unless i say so.
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