I have a cold. I think it has something to do with walking around in DC in the rain, sitting in a really hot, smoky cafe, and then staying up until 4am. Yeah.
But it was worth it. I missed having those really long conversations about everything. I saw myself in a very, very good friend of mine. She reminded me how cool people like us are. Us people who are in love with emotions. Love especially. I had forgotten my infatuation with people and how much I can learn from them.

Thank You, Jonelle.
Even though I am not going to miss you... I am going to miss the chances to have experiences like this weekend with you.
The people who never take the time to notice you are missing out. And the people who finally do notice... they are very thankful.

Because I know I am.


I have never seen such an ugly, fat, funny girl come alive
Like the way you did when tears lit up your eyes

As you spoke of the things that make you cry
The things that make you feel like you want to die
But leave your insides
Turned, twisted and alive

That alive feeling only a conflict can bring
Like the conflict my heart has with my self-conscious head
Every time I open my mouth only not to sing

You didn't have to date this musician
Or even have to give me good head
To make me want to remember all of those little things
That touched your heart
Like phone calls from underneath bathroom sinks

You have so many flaws and faults and discrepancies
Self-defeating tendencies
You truly do annoy me with your insecurities
Only because they remind me
of mine

In trying to write a song of praise
A poem of love and life
It seems that i always turns out that way
alone, and full of strife

But you already knew about that
You experience my frustration too
Are we fat?
Are our hearts are true?

Who knows.
But then again...
Who cares?
The only thing that matters...
Is how we feel

That is what makes it real.