Now Don't Get Me Wrong...

whenever someone says that sentence, i think of Goldfinger and that song fuck LA. all that yelling and screaming and bitching... followed up with that unexpected, deep, soothing voice. yep. that's kinda how i'm feeling.

everyone keeps getting me wrong.

back to the point. i walked behind two very cute little girls on my way to my first class today. they were essentially the same person. brown hair, pulled back into a nasty, greasy nest of curls. pastel pink bra headband looking thing. velour sweatsuit. one had a jean jacket on over top, however, thus proving her fashion superiority. now here's where i don't want you to get me wrong. i love velour. and sweatsuits. in fact, i had a bright green velour sweatsuit when i was in high school... i know some of you remember it. ::cough::

but come on now, people. doesn't it get to you that if i ever see either of you, my brain will automatically throw you into the pile of gazillion other cute lil' spark plugs like yourselves i see every day? that, in essence, everyone will remember you as those girls who look like all the other girls? i mean... do you ever even think about that? at all?

but then i started to think... does this really bother me? is this really some twisted, subconscious way that my brain is expressing the jealousy i have over these girls?

people keep assuring me that i'm not fat. like. a lot lately. and it's getting annoying. i KNOW i'm not fat. but i also KNOW that i am not petite. so when i make jokes about it... they are meant to be FUNNY... not some desperate attempt to get people to assure me i don't look like a whale.

i LIKE being a bigger girl. i am happy with my stature and my build. and i like that i don't look like everyone else. the only thing i would really change about my appearance is to shrink my gut a little bit - but i like food and beer (yay, carbohydrates!). so i can deal with that. and if you can't... then you are stupid.

everyone is concerned about their appearance. every girl looks at herself in the mirror every now and again, paranoid about looking unattractive. i do not have some major phobia about my body. but i swear... if this crap keeps up... it won't be long until i do.