Weird.

Ok, now. Sit down for this. I was organizing some of my writing this evening and thought it would be cool to see what (if anything) I had written about last october. Well... man... look what I found:

October 12, 2001
What is the matter with me?


I'm too idealistic. Too romantic. Too hopeful
I'm too picky
I'm too wrapped up in other areas of my life to do anything about my lack of emotional attachment to anyone...

I haven't found more than a few choice people to actually bother sharing myself with. It seems like no one else would really care... or share themselves with me in return

Yes I'm talking about relationships. I'm talking about sexual attraction. I'm talking about being in love

I'm not going to pretend that something is there just because it would be really nice if there was
I'm not going to fool myself into liking anyone just because I'm lonely... just because I'm a ridiculously large ball of sexual frustration

NO way. I'm better than that

I haven't felt something for someone like that in a long time. Sometimes I doubt that I ever have. I have forgotten what it's like.


................................

ummn, walk around in circles much? craziness.