it isn't fair of you. to just block me when my mood doesn't suit you. to expect me to not inquire and be curious about you and your tragedies... when you get to care about mine. i try to say the right things... i try not to offend you... because i know i am just one of many friends that you really don't "need" and can just write off at any time. but see... i want you in my life. even when i'm not in the mood. i want you to know the things about me that you might not really like or care to know, because without those things i wouldn't be me. but you keep so much of who you are and what you do locked up and away from me... and it's very hard for me to pretend like that doesn't bother me.

it's not that i need and want to know EVERYTHING about you... i just don't want to be afraid of you getting mad at me because i care and i want to see you vulnerable. that's what a real friendship is about. a real connection. we both know we have countless other fuckheads and even good people in our lives to be our groupies... to be our partners in hell raising and being retarded (in our respective ways)...

i share my music with you. the most secret and important thing to me in this world... and you don't seem to know what it is that you hold of mine... and it's like you don't want it. whether you like it or not... i am trusting you with this.

but i don't feel like you trust me in return. and i just don't know what to do anymore.