today when i decided to stay glam after church for work... i felt empowered. i felt good. sexy. clean. fun.
now... a few hours later... after the brunch. after the mommie goodness. i realize i don't want to go to work. i don't want to go work hard for a bunch of people who don't care about me or how i push myself there at all.
why on earth would i want to stay glam for them? why would i want to share the secrets of my soul and my love with a buch of unappreciative, selfish and malicious people?
and it dawns on me... i have run out of reasons. i have run out of reasons to care. i shouldn't.
but i do. why? why? WHY?! WHO on EARTH would i want to try and impress there?! sigh...
why do i feel like my innate drive and desire to be productive and positive are character flaws?
i've said it once and i'll say it again. i wish i didn't know. i wish i was unaware of all this. because with ignorance comes apathy. and right now i would give anything to just not care.
... too bad there isn't enough time for me to change.
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