this stuff is really starting to make me want to kill people. so they can't ever actually build any relationship or procreate. there is NO FUCKING FORMULA. i don't care how many websites (some that i frequent) pop up saying that they have the damn key to finding a mate. i don't care how many books are published on the subject (some of which... eventually will be written by yours truly). there has never been nor will there ever be a scenario that will work for everyone. especially not this one.
10 Traits Men Look for in a Girlfriend.
1. She has a life of her own- and it's pretty good to boot.
Okay. I"ll give you that one. No one wants a clingy partner who has no life outside of them. I mean, yeah, it can be flattering and VERY convenient at first, but it gets old.
But wait, what's this little line in there about taking care of yourself and paying attention to personal style? What a nice, inconspicuous way to say be thin and cute!!
2. She never makes the first move.
Oooooo, and with ITALICS even. I hate this. HATE this. So you want me to just sit on my ass and wait around all day for a man to come and rescue me from this life on introverted (no offense), lonely boring existence?
I'm supposed to wait so I can be sure that he's interested? Well how the fuck is he going to know that I'm interested? Oh, oh... you explain that NICELY with rule number five. Passive aggressive gestures that mean JACK SHIT. Fine fine.
"Men simply aren't programmed to think like that so they are better suited for the chase.'' So how are they programmed, exactly? Oh yes... by the uptight, rigid, crotchety bitches that served as their mothers, and their relationships with the alpha male, all controlling, emotionless, pricks that served as their fathers.
Excellent. Let's keep that tradition going.
3. She is sexy without being trampy.
Now, what exactly... does trampy mean? Mr. Spellchecker says that it isn't even a word. I bet they mean by not wearing revealing clothing or talking dirty or being open in anyway about their sexuality. I bet they mean by wearing tight, matching sweater sets and warm vanilla sugar lotion from bath and body. And by giggling and blushing about everything.
4. She waits to have sex.
Waits for what? Marriage? TRUEEEE LOOOOOOOVE? Approximately 3.4 weeks? What is the problem with a horny and sexually confident woman? Oh yes. That alpha male fear thing. Fear that if the woman has her shit together more than he does that he will not feel adequate. Oh well then, by all means, ladies, let's pretend to be something less than what we are to make sure his little ego feels better.
Because if we sleep with them or suck their cock too fast they are going to assume us "trampy" (see above) and that would be very, very bad. In fact... don't even let him LOOK at your chest until he confesses his love for you.
5. She does little things to show she cares.
The explanation/example for this rule is fucking classic. His laundry, his cooking. And then in return he scrapes off her windshield!!! Oh yay, and I bet he does all the yard work too.
6. She should be her boyfriend's best wingman -- err, wing woman.
Yes. Because I am definitely looking to mother not only his children... but him as well. While I have no problem sharing my opinion ::short:: or giving advice... I do not think that a man looks for a woman to tell him what to wear or how to act. And I'm NOT about fashion, so where the fuck do I get off trying to be an expert on the subject?
7. She never turns on the pressure.
And this one is important, ladies. Don't ask for a commitment. Or talk about the future. Just wait around with your finger up your vagina and pray that he will treat you right and be committed to you. If that doesn't work... at least you'll get off every once in a while from that finger I mentioned. Oh wait. That might be "trampy." Nevermind.
8. She does not take any crap -- from anyone.
Except her boyfriend. Because she won't turn on the pressure or ask him to be committed, thus allowing him to do whatever he wants when he wants to. Contradictory much?
9. A good woman always chooses a good man.
And a good man would recognize and appreciate a woman who is confident and open enough to make the first move, initiate and/or reciprocate sex when she wants to, and to be honest about what she wants/expects from the relationship.
10. She knows that love is the biggest part of the mating equation.
And love has NOTHING to do with any of the rules you listed above.
...
Seriously, if these women that write for MSN are correctly representing the majority of the female persuasion... I want to look into leasing a penis.
Did I mention that shit like this just perpetuates retarded boring female stereotypes and leaves women no room to be individuals?!?!?!??!!
Well let me reiterate. FUCK YOU, MSN and your helpful little articles for teaching me how to be a woman worthy of a good relationship.
Die.
No comments:
Post a Comment