I am sort of mad at myself that I am not taking the opportunity to write while I am in Connecticut.

The sort of is because that I need a time out from the internest I have built for myself. And I need to let the creative juices get recharged and overflowing again.

But I am having such a good time here… I feel like I should be documenting it.

So like I said… I’m sort of mad.

For those of you out of the loop (which would be all of you except my bro, my cousins and their friends), the reason I am still in Connecticut is because I quit the advertising job and needed to prolong the inevitable doom of going back to my unemployed routine again. I haven’t heard back from them at all either… so that’s a good sign that they hate me. And that doesn’t exactly make me feel fuzzy.

But I digress.

I have made a commitment to myself and admitted it to one of my roommates about a week or so ago. I feel as though I should share this with all of you so when I go back on it you can scold me.

I am not going to randomly hook up with anyone again.

Hold on, sillies… I don’t mean EVER again. But I do mean until I actually go on a date or two and actually envision a REAL (as opposed to an imagined and painfully idealistic and unpossible) chance of a deeper relationship with someone.

A conversation I had last night with one of my hook-upers opened up a window on how empty and bored I am with physical attraction. It just makes me sad now. Because I know and appreciate how amazing being physically close with someone is… but also know how much better it could be with that mental closeness too. So instead of a physical release… all I get is a reminder about the hole I’m in mentally.

So yeah. No more hookups. Dates. Yes. I WILL go on dates.

Daily affirmations can work. Right?