Liz met Joe. Joe met Liz. Joe wondered how on earth Liz got called back for a second round interview with no marketing or accounting experience, no management experience with a staff greater than 10, and a degree in a completely unrelated field.
Liz chuckled and thought, “Because Liz kicks ass.”
Soon, Joe came to realize that Liz kicked ass. He became comfortable and goofy, and the day turned into one long insult fight instead of a training interview.
Matt, Joe’s teammate for the day also noticed that Liz kicked ass. Matt bought Liz water and made fun of her sunburn. Liz had the final laugh, though. Matt left his keys in his ignition all day long and his battery died. Liz found a guy with jumper cables.
Matt even tried to display his superior music taste and knowledge when testing Liz on Jay-Z’s Black Album.
We’ve all got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one. Except Matt, of course. Matt’s got girl problems and Liz feels bad for you, son. THEN Matt had the nerve to try to play the same song again. Liz calmly called him a poseur, single-loving, teenie-bopper groupie.
Liz won.
When back at the office, Liz was toyed with by the other staff members. Liz was ok with this because they were all hot, young males. Apparently men are drawn more to advertising.
Joe asked Liz to fill out a questionnaire… and then proceeded to sneak her the correct answers. Liz had not been nervous since about noon.
But then Joe brought Liz outside and with a solemn look on his face he told me to get the fuck inside and go on to my third round interview.
Liz was caught up in an adrenaline rush. Eric was sly and sarcastic in the final interview, asking me about health insurances (Liz did used to work in a doctor’s office, you know). Eric then said that he wasn’t sure about hiring Liz and that it would be left up to Joe.
Eric left the room. Liz smiles.
Joes walks in and is told to congratulate Liz. Hugs and high fives abound.
Liz gets home. Has excellent steak and chicken dinner cooked by her lovely wife, Dorothy. Friends come over in honor of Liz’s employment.
Liz opens her day planner. Liz sees all of the events she has scheduled with family, friends and the guards. Liz suddenly realizes that a full time job that ends at 7pm daily would not be conducive to all of these previous commitments.
Liz wants to die inside.
Priority me this and priority that… Liz has made her decision already. The question really is, how do you quit a job before you even start?
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