3...

* In a last-minute attempt to maybe get you all to shut the doors, lock up and leave... because, like I said, this whole thing is a waste of your time... I'll describe the female character first.

Ahem.

The female character is... me. It's doesn't take much of a brain to figure that one out. All of us writers are very self-centered, and are very aware of our own little slice of the universe. We think that it is always about us. And well... it is.

This is not necessarily a bad thing, no matter how many parents or teachers or people in your life may scold you for thinking primarily of your own needs. But that is an argument for another day.

The problem with casting myself in a lead role is that the character was not designed in the hopes of creating a blockbuster movie. NO fancy actress has been hired to play "her" (however, if Kate Winslet and Clare Daines are still alive and available when and if this gets published and made into a Lifetime, made for TV movie, please give them a call).

Just consider this:
You're sitting here, reading a chick book, by definition, because I am a chick and this is a story about me. And well... I'm not frighteningly hot and I don't even end up with the guy anyway.

If I was slick, urban and pulp fiction savvy, I could have woven some surprise revealing of myself as not only the narrator, but the female involved... but that takes way too much effort on my part. So there, you don't have plot progression to get excited about either.

This would so be a crappy date movie. If any males out there actually decide to take their girlfriend out to see this, I feel sorry for them. Especially since she'll be laughing in your general direction by the end of it and probably won't ever want to see you again. So like I said before... this is not only a waste, but an unproductive use of your time.