This fear that he has. It makes me so aware and thankful for myself. For being me. For not haboring it at all anymore. I used to be afraid of everything. I still am, really.
The fear is always there.
Of failure.
Rejection.
Disappointment.
But somehow... I have managed to take all of that, accepting and welcoming the uncertainty into my arms... and it just makes me fly. I want to experience all of what is real and true and supposed to be coming my way. I don't ever want to hide from how I feel now. All of this fear that used to stop me in my tracks really does drive me to be honest and to go for what I want.
And god lord, do I want him.
There is no game to win here for me. Competition, comparison or even bragging rights doesn't play the slightest part in my heart anymore.
I just know that he compliments me. I know that I can't get enough of him. I know that revel in all of the drama and what not because, it's so real. He is so real.
The most genuine and powerful feelings I have ever had in my entire life. And I'll be damned if I don't get to share them with him.
You don't have to get out of my way. I won't push you. I'll just go around you.
Whether I get him at all, in the end or the beginning or even just a part of the middle... I know I'll be okay because I am finally so excited and so ready. So ready to ride this rollercoaster. Even if I don't have anyone sitting next to me on it.
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