I'm scared. Horribly, shamefully scared. This has truly been the second most drama-filled week of my life, almost a sick anniversary of sorts. I felt that I had grown, given, and gained so much in this last year... only to find myself in the same place: scared and unknowing.

I want to think I am better than how I am feeling and acting. I want to think that I am something that I should be proud of. And I'm not thinking what I want to think. I just don't know if I can find the strength I need to change and better myself again... I'm so tired. I'm only twenty years old and I'm already so tired. Tired, scared, unknowing and lost.

Maybe I will never know where I am going or what I need to do. Maybe no one does. But it would sure be nice for once. Real nice.