my clothes and hair smell like him still.

and it pisses me off.

with every breath a flash of last night's events floods in through my nose. and right now i'd kinda like to forget about it.

forget about how much time was wasted. forget about what he didn't say. forget about him getting out of bed. forget about how i apologized for no reason... just because i thought he was pissed off and i didn't want him to be.

he has blown it 3 times now. and i'm ashamed that it passed 2. i've got no one to blame but myself.

funny how i thought skin on skin contact would change things.

ugh. for the 2nd time in my life i feel tainted. and for the gabillionth time... i feel like a dumbass.