why?

Last night we got a really late rush at work. There were only two of us on the floor and we just got slammed. Amidst all of this madness, being that school has let out for the summer... a lot of college kids were in the mix. I found myself in the middle of a pub life vs. high school life vs. college life vs. starbux life all-out brawl.

My first boyfriend ever showed up. He and I have been crossing paths since 4th grade, but each time it still hits hard. He nearly shit his pants when I ran him over with a drink tray in my hand... and then I nearly shat mine when he introduced me to his fiancé.

Quite a few people from my high school class were there, most of them trying to make eye contact with me as I scurried past.

Cross country love's brother was there too, accompanied by a "big party" that kept coming and going, leaving me paranoid that don might actually show his face.

Three of my old starbux coworkers were also there, one celebrating his 24th birthday. This retard actually expected me to hook him up with shots and food and extra special attention just because I coexisted with him behind a counter back in '99. To try and explain why this would never happen is futile, but can be summed up with one statement: He got fired from that job when he pulled a knife on the manager.

The pub regs did nothing to calm this situation at all... trying to figure out how I knew so many people there that night, and drawing even more attention to me by giving me SHIT the WHOLE time.

Don't get me wrong here... I thrive in dramatic situations. But give me a break- a girl can only multi-task to a certain extent.

...

Normally, I would take all this as some sort of serendipitous sign. Say something mystifying like "things are stirring" or "the karma has already started".

But last night... all I could think of was "I don’t need or want this shit right now, and I’m not going to let it get to me."

So I didn't.

Not while I was serving that loud, snobby bitch her bass ale and hardcore cider so she could make her OWN snake bites and rip us off. Not while I was sweeping off the patio at 2am, trying to steal the glasses out of the hands of all the durnk idiots we were kicking out.
Not while I was taking shots of GM after hours to passify this ass of a coworker who was making attempts to get me to go home with him, while SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO HIS GIRLFRIEND that he LIVES WITH.
Not while I was driving home, trying not to explode over the phone because I'm ALWAYS emo. Not even when he fell asleep on me, leaving me to toss and turn, thinking about how I have to do this all over again tonight.

I still haven't let it get to me. And I won't ever. Because there is no point. It's just too much in too short a period of time.

Maybe he's right. Maybe "why" isn't really as important as I want it to be. Or maybe it is, but if I keep getting lost in the "why" I'll miss out on all the "is."