well... i was right about the kissing. it came sooner than i thought it would.

too bad it was my boss's ASS that i ended up puckering up to.

this takes me back to the high drama days.

i don't know why, but last night i had a lurking pain in my stomach while i was trying to go to bed. i was worried about work. worried about seeing my boss. worried about what he would say about my quitting. i woke up at 2am. it was one of those startled, holy-doo-doo-where-the-hell-am-i jolts. my right elbow knocked into my alarm clock, and it fell over the back of my loft bed.

after agonizing in pain for 5 minutes. "i don't know why they call it the funny bone... because this is not funny." i half-assidly climbed down my ladder and tried to fish out the clock from behind my futon. no dice. i fell asleep sitting on the futon.

again- i jerked awake around 3am. WTF? major neck pain. and my face was glued to my old skool bean bag that had substituted as a pillow. this time i managed to get the clock back up to my bed... i checked to make sure the alarm was still set for 4am and dozed off again.

i yawned and rolled over. 5:25am.

FUCK!!

so i grabbed my black button down shirt from my closet and my slitted black skirt from the hamper and ran to my car without shoes on. i adore yellow blinking lights. tried to call the boss on the way to work as i charged up my dead cell phone in the car charger (long story, don't ask). he was in the shower.

he'd hate me. think me a selfish prat who was full of shit and didn't really care about the store. i mean, what the hell kinda karma is that the first time i work after turning in my letter of resignation that i am an hour late to open up the store?!?!

so i pull into the parking lot. i knew my opening staff would have bailed by then. so i was alone. but here is where the morning turns with true liz fashion.

i lock my keys in the car.

i don't panic. i'll just call my mom and have her bring me my spare key. oh yes. call her from my DEAD CELL PHONE. at this point, the customers were gathering. as i sat on the curb in front of the store, apologizing for the store being closed... they walked away and then watched my in my glory from Einstein's across the way.

about 2 minutes go by and then i am struck with genius. PAYPHONE. i run around the building and reach for my purse. my wallet is attached to my keys. sigh. just dial down the center, carrot top came to me in a vision. "mommie.... i'm retarded. can you come save me from getting scolded? please, i'll be a good daughter. i'd never put you in a home."

so now all i can do is wait. it was like an inadvertent time out. all i could do was sit there and think about what i had done and how much it just figures and what the hell was the point of this one, God?!!?!

well beyond crying at this point, i jumped on my mother's car as she pulled up and did a little irish jig for her. she smiled her "god i feel sorry for you, child" smile and pulled away.... and i went into hyperdrive.

open door. turn off alarm. set safe. warm up urns. calibrate bar... oh, what this?! a broken espresso bar? oh that's rich. recruit venti double cup drip to keep people out of the store. call manager. call district manager. leave toolish voicemail. call opening staff. turn on rolling stone's artist choice CD. count milk. manager arrives. freckles arrives. pastry case. mama arrives. naty-bo arrives.

store is miraculously run for the next 6 hours.

maybe it was a blessing in disguise. we saved some labor. got some extra sleep. gave away a few caffeine withdrawal head aches... and totally took the focus off of my quitting.

smirk.