sometimes i am afraid to write about boys when they first start to occupy my daydreams. you know... the jinx factor.
but more so than that... i'm afraid to put my premonitions down. afraid they will be oh so on point like they usually are. afraid that my writing them down or typing them up begins a sort of self fulfilling prophecy.
but maybe i'll indulge anyway because i'm sick like that.
we will wait. prolong the tingling feelings in our tummies. pretend we don't see the knowing glances. not talk about the hugs that last too long. fight like we hate each other. drink beer together until we forget that it's a school night and we both have to work in the morning. try not to look like buddies at work but fail miserably.
i will get frustrated that he won't make a move but stay interested because of the incessant flirting. eventually i will follow my impatience's lead and make the move myself.
we will have a nice relationship... possibly even a long term thing. but i'll always be waiting. wanting more. when the bubble pops i'll look around and see that there is no chance. and i'll move on.
sigh. that's the way love goes. i'll keep you posted. i'm still waiting for the day that someone proves these forethoughts wrong.
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