i thought i noticed a tan line around his ring finger.

there is one other thing about last weekend that i need to write about.

on saturday, i went to see Dorothy's (my roommate) musical review at her middle school (she's a teacher). then my other roommate (Lori) and i continued our evening at Champions. we were joined shortly after we got there by Maribeth and Cheryl.

i'm going to be honest here when i say that the point of the evening was to meet a few guys. i only had $15... and with a $5 cover that isn't going to get you very far. i very rarely depend on the kindness of male strangers... but i needed a self esteem AND wallet boost.

there was a coverband playing, named something poseur-like. "hindsight" i think. they were playing so loudly, us ladies had to shout at each other across from our table. we were scoping the bar, and i noticed that the bartender was really the only attractive male in the place. i also noticed my gaydar going off like a champ whenever he interacted with a customer.

so i thought it would be harmless to tell him "i'm not trying to suck up to you or anything, but you are the hottest guy here." needless to say, the next round was only $5. so i tipped big and went back to the girls.

after an hour or so, and NONE of us getting approached, i was getting antsy. so i approached an older, yet tan and cut man and told him "now, since you haven't offered to buy any of my friends a drink tonight, i have to stoop to asking you for a cigarette."

"but you all had drinks."
"because WE bought them."
"well, we can't have that... here's a cig. what are you drinking?"

but my conversation was cut short. i noticed a very large, redheaded male approaching Lori. he had a shirt on that said "PHAT University." needless to say, i took the cig and ran.

apparently, Mr. Phat had asked her to dance. she declined.

maybe 5 minutes later, the emerald green eyes of a greek god peered over the bar at the back of our booth and asked if we ladies would like to join him and his friends in a game of pool.

you bet your sweet as we would.

there are three of them. the green god, a man with salt and pepper hair and a dirty blonde. and i mean dirty in that way.

long story short... everyone was attracted to green the most. i mean, clearly. however, we found out their ages and the dirty blond became much more appealing at 26. (salt and pepper was 31 and green was freaking 35!!)

they were trying to peg us into different roles. Something about Lori being the mentor and me being the dominant one.

::insert giggle here::

they bought us drinks, we flirted, we teased, we exchanged stories. we also learned that salt and pepper was married with two kids.

you'd THINK that information might have set off a few alarms in my head... but noooooooooooooo.

Marib and Cheryl dip. Lori and I linger, get another round, and the bartender and i have built up a friendly banter at this point. he even made me a special drink called "the killer."

you'd think THAT might have set off a few alarms too... but no.

so we find that the guys are in the service. living on the base at Ft. Meade. being that they were so nice to us and i was trying to choose who's number i wanted to get, i offered to drive them home.

sigh. i'm surprised Lori let me get away with this.

but here... HERE is where karma comes back to get me. Mr. Fabulous Bartender man gives me his PHONE NUMBER as we leave the bar. yeah. WTF?! does he need a new fag hag? could my gaydar be wrong?

giggle giggle giggle.

we get on the base. they inspect my car. we get invited to a party. we get to blonde's house. i see baby pictures and toys all over the place. i get confused. ask for a glass of water. the guys are trying to get us to stay a bit and have a few more drinks. fat chance. i need to use the bathroom. blonde shows me upstairs. i see a nursery.

"how old is your daughter?"
"14 months."
"where are your roommates."
"oh... they're not here."
"why not?"
"they just aren't"

we walk into a bedroom. he sits at the desk.

"how are things with you and mommy?"
"i don't want to tell you."
"why....?"
"because i'm afraid you'll never speak to me again."
"come on, doode."
"we are still together. all of us are married."

.......
...

...........
.......

(that is me processing everything that happened this evening)

i leave the room. head for the toilet. he comes up close behind me. says it's hard when there are people like me around with nothing better to do. i mumble something about having a conscience and shut the door. after nearly peeing on myself, i see a training potty. a rubber duck. i go downstairs. his unfriendly dog is still hiding from me. i bet green that he (the DOG, sickos!) will be in my lap in 15 minutes. 7 minutes later, the dog is laying on my lap as i scratch his belly.

ha.

i get directions off the base and we get ready to leave. i make a smart ass comment about being misinformed about the situation tonight and they pounce... suddenly being defensive and self righteous.

oh well. blonde had my phone number. he called no less than 10 minutes after we left. wanted to see what i was doing the next day.

ugh.

what a waste.