crazy dreams

i've been having a lot of vivid dreams lately... some of them lucid.

now i'm no dream expert (like someone i know), but i keep having these periods where i seem to remember more of my dreams right before or during a time of stress for myself.

for those of you who don't believe in this sort of thing... you might want to stop reading.

this past week i have been remembering a dream or two every night... and if i napped, that's when i started to have the lucid dreams... where i knew i was dreaming. the dreams, while scattered, all included major undertones of things that are going on in my life.

granted, this makes sense if our dreams tap into our subconscious... because these issues have been in the back of my mind. but last night really scared me.

there was a scene where i was leaving for work in the morning... and i came outside to get into my car. but there were people outside looking for my car to reposes it. so i jumped into my old car (remember my hot 1988 pontiac safari station wagon? maroon with all the bumper stickers? yeah.) and tried to pull out of the parking lot. i almost got into an accident with my neighbor pulling into the parking lot. weird.

then i was at QO, waiting in the bus lot on the tour buses we rode in during band trips while i was in highschool. it was suddenly dark outside, and we were all trying to sleep on the bus. who "we" is, i'm not exactly sure. but then all of a sudden the earth shook and everyone was aware that we were caught in the middle of a storm and a meteor hit the ground.

i mean, seriously, wtf?

i remember trying to sleep, but being too scared to close my eyes. i remember reaching around in the dark trying to find him (who him is i'm not too sure of either).

but the worst part about the whole thing is that i woke up this morning, perfectly aware that i had dreamed all of this, but then my mother asked me if i was behind on my car payments. umn. weird.

now i'm paranoid about the competition for QO this weekend and of course, the hurricane. not to mention the him issues. i worry about this stuff enough while i'm awake... why does my subconscious have to freak me out too?

i must admit, however... that this is very exciting for me to be so aware of all this storming around and inside of me. something big is going to happen. i just hope i'm ready for it.