ok you know what? my mother and i had a most-excellent convo in the car on the way to work today and in light of a website that i frequent... i need to vent.

i'm debating about whether or not i should post this on that site... give me some feedback here if you think it will even be worth it.

ahem.

he calls me vain. and it bothers me.

yes, i check myself in the mirror if i pass one. and not in one of those can't look away from a car accident sort of ways. whenever i wear my hair down... i am playing with it. i fidget constantly and my mane is a good way to occupy idle hands. (devon sawa vision ::drool:: ... ok, i'm better now). my hair is very long and very thick, so it gets tangled easily. i adore my hair as a big part of my identity and want it to look good.

i try to buy clothing that is flattering. i wear outfits that i feel are appropriate for the occasion. i bathe daily and wash my hair at least every other day. i wear ankle socks with shorts because i think they make my legs look sexy. i wear sneakers a lot because they make my feet look cute. i try to groom on days that i know i'll see him. i accessorize like a champ.

but beyond buying hair care products that i like because of their smell and bitching on occasion about the middle ground between juniors and misses that IS my size 12 existence... i don't think about fashion or make up or my appearance.

now before you call me a hottie hater... i'm not hating on people who are attractive or who like to look good. i'm hating on people who spend hours a day thinking, preparing and acting on maintaining their personal appearance.

paint me retarded, but i have a ton of other things that i would rather occupy my time AND my brain with.

they say that your personal appearance reflects on you and your lifestyle. i agree whole-heartedly. my lifestyle is one where i make an effort to be practical and appropriate and to take care of myself... but i am in search of something deeper that cannot be put on a logical scale and i will disregard social graces in order to find fulfillment.

i think that people should take pride in their appearances. and that you should take care of yourself and try to look the best that you can. the key word in the sentence is YOU. use what you were given. why spend so much time to try to look like something/one that you aren't?!?! why doesn't anyone want to be who they are anymore instead of one variation or color combo of a specific prototype?!?!?!?!?! it just seems to me that people have taken a general concern/interest for their appearance and gone way overboard.

if you get some sort of internal happiness from researching and analyzing highlighting methods, eyeshadow and the art of the tube top... i am happy that you found what makes you tick... but get the FUCK away from me.
if you are so obsessed with style and fashion that you wouldn't date someone on dread row for the fashion police even if they were everything else you could ever dream of in a mate then WALK AWAY QUICKLY. i'm getting a gun and i WILL pop a cap in your well-loofa'ed ass.
if you read cosmo for the articles, of course regularly and own over 2/3 of the merchandise found throughout the zine... and you whine about not finding that see-through blouse in the color you wanted on the forever 21 website (every week)... i hope you die.

let me reiterate... i don't mind people who like fashion or make up or applying both or either of these things to their daily maintenance. i am one of those people. it's the psychos who don't seem to care about anything else in their lives above how they look that make me want to punch their newly-chiseled nose and suck all of the fat that was injected into their lips. or slash their entire wardrobe and have dogs chew up all of their shoes. highlight their hair green (in the not cool way) and give them bad hair cuts. just to prove that their lives wouldn't be over if they didn't look good.

ugh. now i wanna go out and run around in public in my target jeans (not flared.. but BOOT CUT), dayglow green t-shirt, with my hair in pig tails (not the uber cute and trendy low ones, but the i'm motherfucking pippy long stocking ones), no make-up and flipflops with socks on underneath.