it is 6:30pm and i am still at work

ugh.

that's almost an 11 hour day, people.

11 hours of my life. wasted.

gone. forever. and ever. amen.

how do people LIVE like this?!?!

i have had quite a few conversations on the steady job for the rest of your life subject. and let's just say i'm not coming out a better person for it. everyone tells me i'm just going to have to suck it up and train myself into routine. well i'm sorry... but FUCK THAT.
i don't care if it is what's expected. i don't care if that's what it takes to manage a healthy family and household. in the words of dana carvey i'm just "not gonna do it." if this was the point of all my schooling... then the point sucks my right nipple. and not in the good way.

i want a job where i learn things. and teach things. and im not talking about stupid paper shuffling things... i mean like things about life. and people. i want the 40+ hours a week i spend doing whatever i'm doing to be worthwhile and meaningful. and i want to do different things. not the same crap every day. and if no job out there exists to my standards then i'll just have to work multiples... or switch every time i get bored.
i AM aware that this will not provide me with a nice income or steady benefits. and that's fine because i could give a fuck about either of those things.

maybe in 5 or 10 years i'll change my tune. i'll have a hubby and kiddies who will make me reprioritize. but i doubt it. because even with a life partner or offspring... i will look for the same things in my life... as well as theirs.

i will not settle.

and don't you try to make me feel bad about wanting something different from what society tells me i should want. i appreciate the advice. i do. but just watch what you say. i know you think it's for my own good... but good is relative. trust me to decide for myself.