I really don't want to go back to school tomorrow. I just need another week. That's all. Maybe two.

This semester needs to be over, like now.

get ready for a shitload of those quiz thingies... what can i say, i was on a roll...

I Will Die of Natural Causes.
Your choice of life style has enabled you to live a nice long life.. To eventually die of a stroke, or was it a heart attack.. Either way you out lived just about anyone that gave a shit about you anyway.. Congrats
Find out how you will die, Take the Death Quiz now!

damn straight...


Which Angelina Are You?


Which Winona Are You?


You are restricted. Well done, you're now
practically adult in nature, and plus, you
get to see nudity - have fun.

"Which Movie Classification Are You?"
Test created by Jamie - take it here.


Oh my dear lord in heaven...
If i was a serial killer i would be John Wayne Gacy .
If you ever had a reason to be afraid of clowns. This would be it.
Over the course of 3 years John Wayne Gacy, a part time children's party clown, would go on to sodomize, torture and murder over 30 young men, burying most of the bodies under the floor boards of his home.
Gacy would use a chloroform soaked rag to render his victims unconscious, then take them home and tie them up in his basement. He would then proceed to torture them sexually, using a varying range of dildos and sexual toys, eventually strangling them to death with a 2x4 while raping them.
kill count: 30+
Find what serial killer you would be, Take the Serial Killer Quiz now!

i should be doing work. but i'm not. SO THERE! heh. i wish rebellion was more exciting...

Beautiful, sweet release. Thank you, special. Yummy. Sigh.

Ok- yes that made sense.


Just call it the menstruation cycle of the pen...

I'm having a period of writer's block.

i don't think anything makes me cry like fighting with my family.

Failed my first exam ever today. Yeah. Go me. I really want this week to be over... I just have way to much to do and am not sleeping enough at all. I'm worried about the competition this saturday too. BUT THEN...

I WILL have fun over spring break, damnit! I WILL.

please...............

Six o'clock in the morning wipe the sleep from my eyes
Felt just like an ordinary day...

Just around the corner, such a surprise
A beautiful angel materialized

Time stood still, face to face
I'm sure we'd met in another time and place

Our eyes met as you passed me by
Two souls entwined in the blink of an eye

And I had to figure out what I'd be missing
So I turned to you and asked you if you wanted to ...

Rendezvous...

So I went to NYC for the first time yesterday. Man. I dunno how to even begin blogging about it. It was definitely an experience I will never forget... and has definitely gotten me excited about visiting places I've never been before. Travel. WoO!

Saw ground zero. Got interviewed. Surreal.

Ate. And ate. And ate some more. I would be the happiest fatty on the planet if I lived there.

Shoppage. Buildingage. TONS of people.

Lotsa green, irish drunkies. WoO to being irish. heh.

Walked. And walked. Subway. Cab ride. WALKED. Did I mention the walking?

The coolest things about the day:

Seeing so many things that I have seen on TV over and over again... in person! Hearing, touching, smelling and experiencing SO MUCH. Very overwhelming.

And the company. Everyone was just so charged and excited to be there. Met some excellent new people and was reminded how excellent an old friend was. Sigh.

I wanna go back.

no more fucking freshman. literally. i don't care what anyone ones says about age not mattering... freshmen males are totally retarded fuckheads who need to pull the penises out of their asses and at least attempt to act like they have some sort of caring or intelligence.

i swear... i cannot believe the lack of respect and integrity. i cannot believe i even wasted my time. i am such a moron. you'd think i would have learned by now...
just because things don't exactly click like you hoped they would does NOT mean you should just write people off. whatever, chicken shit. do yourself a favor and grow up. and when you do... don't call me.

i love my winterguard. made history this weekend. had wonderful competition experiece. had mucho funo with marib and dawn. saw movie and ate food with most-excellent company.

too bad 40 days and 40 nights was an hour and a half long reminder that i am sexually frustrated like NO OTHER.

oh well. josh is hot (both of them). wink.

the hour before the sun disappears from the sky
twilight brings out the bronze in my hair
and the grey in my eyes

it feels like the day doesn't want to let go
and as it fights with the moon
everything starts to glow

i watch myself walking, feeling surrounded below the above
and then find myself day dreaming
about magic and the enchantment of love


-wrote in mediation class on wed night. some gushy-mushy doo doo, ain't it?

just because he is pretty, that does not mean he deserves my attention.



Does she walk alone
To get him to follow her?
Does she cry inside
To get him to ask her what's wrong?

You can't pretend to be painfully honest
You can't pretend to feel her heart
You try
But you suck at fake flattery
So does this society

Woa. Overload, much? I love running around like a chicken with my head cut off. IT'S JUST GREAT.

Sigh, now I have a decision to make. And I dunno what to do. I guess honesty is the best policy... and to be honest I don't know. We shall just have to see what happens on both ends, I guess. Why can't life ever be simple?
I have gotten soooo little sleep these past few days... and it has had nothing to do with school work. I am just on crack. Total raving maniac. I don't understand why people are even putting up with me at all, let alone wanting to spend time with me and talk to me. I'm just... still trying to deal with the situation... and I don't want to screw anyone over.

So be patient with me... I'm workin on it.

And goodness gracious! Our first Winterguard competition is this Saturday. I am soooo nervous and scared- I just don't want the kids to be disappointed. We have all put so much work into it... and I feel responsible for the success or failure of the group. It just means a lot to me... and no one seems to realize how big a deal this is in my life.
Everyone has been telling me these things are over by 3pm... but guess what time we perform?!?!! 6:05pm! There go my plans for that evening. Yes... I actually had plans. Haters. Gotta ruin everything.

Saw David yesterday. Good to know we are still ok. Hope his party went well.

Also hung out for Amy's burfday. One of the best discussions about old TV shows I have ever had over dinner. Surprisingly enjoyable evening.

And... and... I... there's this boy... I dunno... suddenly have new frustration with the fact that I have no free time... don't know what to say... ummn... I'm scared... suddenly have reason to shave my legs once in a while... vulnerable... ugh...

welcum back, drama!

weird. weird. weird.

just weird.


people are weird. things are happening that are weird. i dunno. i mean, it's a good weird... but still... it's friggin' weird.


have found myself feeling a lot better after last night and this morning. there were a few key people involved in this transformation... and so... i thank them. even though it has all been very, very weird. timing is just crazy. and i'm still poopie.