Today I listened to a high school student turn Yellow Card's "Only One" into the most beautiful piano piece.

I wanted to cry. But I didn't because the kids would think me a pussy.

Be Careful What You Wish For...

I may just get my dream job. And have it be the worst financial and logistical decision I ever make.

Fuck dreams.

Currently Reading #5: Choke

Next up for me is another Chuck Palahniuk book. Not only am I prepared to be grossed out, but I am prepared to hate the world even more.

So, uhh...

I think I just got a job as a freelance journalist for a rinky-dink city newspaper.

Pinch me!!

The Staple Shot

Everyone has one. The shot that you order by default. The shot that runs through your veins because you've taken so much of it. The shot that says something about you- you in drink form. The shot that you wear on your sleeve and down the front of your shirt.

And for the past four years, I have taken the easy way out. The lame, unimaginative, and painfully expected Red Headed Slut. While this may have helped my game back in the day, I no longer resort to stereotypical assumptions to get men to desire me.

So I bid a fond farewell to the Red Headed Slut... and a fine and fancy hello to the Red Snapper!

Red Headed Slut
Ingredients:
* 1 1/2 oz Jägermeister
* 1 1/2 oz Peach schnapps
* Fill with Cranberry juice

Mixing instructions:
Mix in shot glass. Shoot.

Red Snapper
Ingredients:
* 1 shot Crown Royal
* 1 shot Amaretto
* 1 shot Cranberry juice

Mixing instructions:
One shot each. Shake n' shoot.

My Brother, While an Asshole, Is Awesome.

I mean, just look at this mixed media journal cover he designed and made for me:


The graffiti writing is hard to read, but if you look hard enough, you can see that it says "dreaming among the starz."

The question is now, can I fill the inside with something as pretty as the outside?

VD 2007

sitting here, stuck
on this sickle cell snow day
no reason to celebrate
and no one around to play

yeah, i have a valentine
but he's off on his own
still feels single, solo, a thin-mint line
i walk alone and i should have known

this is how it needs to be
for me
this is how i create
this isn't really all a mistake

these scattered, broken pieces of me.
thrown about the sky
these starry, teary eyes
mine. mine.

always mine.

If Someone Wrote A Song About You...

What would it say?

I'm happy to report, a little something like this:

well in the perfect world
you'd be the perfect girl
yeah, you'll always be mine

but in this shady world
i don't need a sunlit girl
well, i won't be the one to waste your time

And here all this time I thought it didn't work out because he thought I was too young.

Listen to it yourselves, you myspacers: don bosse.
It's the one called "Lizzy Starz."

Happy heart day, you hopeless, romantic fucks.

Currently Reading #4: How We Are Hungry

Screw this. No more huge life lessons shoved down my throat. No more gay and lesbian culture teaching me about understanding and acceptance. No more edgy classics that are supposed to inspire me to write well. My boyfriend is out of town the entire week of valentine's day having fun with his friends before he starts his new job and I am stuck here subbing all week at a middle school, going to the dentist and listening to what few friends I have left bitch about how "at least you have a valentine," and I'm just going to read a god damned piece of chick lit shit that will let me be self indulgent and wallow in my fairytale self pity.

Two chapters into this thing and I realize...I was horribly, horribly mistaken.

This book is NOT a light and fluffy romantic comedy turned novel. It's a self help book in disguise.

So I have fallen victim to the multiplebooksatthesametime trap. I'm not going to stop reading this book, but I need something to even it out.

It's perfect: a collection of short stories. The imagery is beautiful and this guy is actually subtle in the messages he tries to send in between the lines of his words.

I'm going to be able to handle this. I can multi-task like no other. Really.

not work.

my head is hurting now.
for someone who rarely gets headaches.
this one has lasted a week so far.

i'm broke.
and had to take my cat to the vet tonight.
officially.
i would hate credit cards.
if they weren't my life line right now.

finally.
made my dentist appointment for next week.
the tooth aches.
indicative.
of the deeper debt.
i will drill myself into.

the way this world works.
is making it.
impossible.
for me to make my dreams.
work.

Boondox: February 2007

he wubs his mommi