holy shit some porn girl signed my guestbook. YOU HAVEN'T... BUT SOME DAMNED PORN GIRL DID!

You should be ashamed...

oh good gawd...

I really don't want this to go poopie already. Think positive... this is just giving me the opportunity to settle in comfortably... and it leaves room for improvement. I mean, if you peak early, the rest of the experience can seem dull in comparison. So this slow start IS a good thing...

::keeps fingers crossed::

So here it begins. Saved By the Bell Goes to Hawaii (or just insert another cheezy summer movie title here).

My suite is bomb. My suitemate is bomb. My room is bomb. It's just... bomb.

I am totally excited, but already pissed at myself for not going out tonight. I have had FOUR amazing people offer up activities o' fun... and for once I didn't hafta drive 45 min to join in... but I am just too funkay and tired from today's efforts.

Oh wellz. It's just one more night. Let us update the site...

AND tomorrow night, as long as the other suitemates don't show up, I am having a little get-together, myself. And guess what?! If you can read this, yer invited! No, it's not a party, yes there will be pong, no I will not get busted my second day on campus. IM me for details.

Kyle from the real world is such a friggin tool.

I have one more exam. I am really bored at work. I had an excellent convo with my dad this weekend, though... and I'm excited that he wants to work with me with my writings. He has this really cool idea for a story... and I want his opinion on my prose. Maybe I'll show him some poetry too... who knows.
I just really wanna move out of the house. I get a single in New L-town and that makes me totally happy. Cuddle-slut needed to take full advantage of this situation. I also need a guitar teacher. I'mma ask nat.

right now.

ooga.

crunch time bores me so.

So all this drama is going down. And somehow... I am not involved. Crazy, isn't it? I'm kinda jealous. NO, I'm not that retarded... but the only drama I have anymore involves work, school or money. OH WAIT- or some asshole who is trying to make me feel like I did something wrong AGAIN. But we don't care enough about that to elaborate. I'm just kinda in awe that all this shit is happening and for once I'm only partially involved. I still want to kick major tail, though. No pun intended. HA!

Classes are over and all I have to do is get through finals. I'm not too worried. Very munch looking forward to finishing my english web site... I'll put that up soon enough for all of you dorks who might care to read.

Dawn just called me pumpkin lips. that's a new one.

I'm really jealous of No Compromise. I know every single member of the band through weird and different circumstances... and I find it odd that they all somehow formed a band together... and that I actually would have played with one of them if I hadn't been such a rerard. Oh well. Inspiration I suppose. This summer. I'm already feeling more comfortable singing in front of people now... especially in the car. Shut up, baby steps...

I hate getting lunch for the office. I hafta carry like 3 McDonald's bags and stuff from the union shop too. Like I don't feel like a big enough pig without people thinking all that food is for me. Especially Dan and his Large #8 with cheese and a chocolate shake. goo.

I want to buy lots of stuff for my new room. I'm excited. Target better watch the fuck out! 10 days and counting...

It just makes me wonder if I'll ever find anyone.

No matter how many new people I meet, or how much fun I have with these people... I some how always end up being sad that I didn't have any sparks fly. I think something is that matter with me.

Can I tell you how excited I am? I move out in 16 days. Finally. Oh, summer is going to be HOT. I cannot wait.

::jumps around and does happy dance::

When are people going to realize that it isn't always about them? Everyone has so much going on with their lives all at the same time... the fact that you think every move they make has something SPECIFICALLY to do with you is arrogant and quite stupid, frankly. But what's worse is that you actually continue to fight and badger them about the issue. THERE WAS NO ISSUE. YOU JUST MADE IT ONE. Listen to Luda.

drink some prune juice and let the shit go.

Ok that was just not good. I have NEVER felt like I wasn't in control while I was sharing an intimate moment with a guy before. Until last night.

I have watched tons of films on sexual assault, discussed rape until blue in the face, and have helped friends and family who have been violated... but NEVER did I ever think anyone would actually have the BALLS to step to ME like that.

Maybe I have just been spoiled. All of the guys I have ever done anything with have always respected me and what I've wanted. I always do the same in return... that's just how it is supposed to work. I mean, if both of you aren't into it and getting off on it, then it stinks.

So this definitely took me by surprise. Nothing happened, I am totally fine- but I got a taste of something I hope never to come across again. Even though I know I handled the situation well and can usually come across as strong, intimidating and tough... I was terrified.

It is during times like these that I thank god for my busty self and my ass kicking abilities.

Boyz... don't be mean. Please. You have no idea what it can do.