hey y'all... can you do me a favor and just shout out to me if you get my page to load correctly? i'm having major problems getting IE to like me... and modzilla is ignoring my content. i want to see how many people are actually getting through...
thanx for rollin' with a brotha...
Wednesday, April 30, 2003
Tuesday, April 29, 2003
don't really know where this is going - let's just see what happens ...
hi.
went to a show last night.
yep. the ataris.
further seems forever. but we missed them. it's ok, though. we don't like them much without chris.
juliana theory. concluded that their slower, more insecure ballad type songs are way better. front man needs to stop being a tool and let back up vocal hottie be more center stage. still having horrifying visions of his whiplash headbang thing he does in the back of my head.
headliners. wee. sigh. yum. i want that.
nicest concert experience i have had up that close. only one crowd surfer fell on me. jason only got stepped on once and did not lose any shoes. no battlescars. just this sore throat. but i can't really blame the concert for that. i was feverish and head achie all day yesterday. oh... and there is this freaking stamp on my right hand. doode at the front didn't believe i was 21. nothing like rawking out with a bunch of 15 year old on a monday night.
metro rides are fun. people watching is fun. watching people on the metro is glorious. good convo.
... can't wait till summer.
went to a show last night.
yep. the ataris.
further seems forever. but we missed them. it's ok, though. we don't like them much without chris.
juliana theory. concluded that their slower, more insecure ballad type songs are way better. front man needs to stop being a tool and let back up vocal hottie be more center stage. still having horrifying visions of his whiplash headbang thing he does in the back of my head.
headliners. wee. sigh. yum. i want that.
nicest concert experience i have had up that close. only one crowd surfer fell on me. jason only got stepped on once and did not lose any shoes. no battlescars. just this sore throat. but i can't really blame the concert for that. i was feverish and head achie all day yesterday. oh... and there is this freaking stamp on my right hand. doode at the front didn't believe i was 21. nothing like rawking out with a bunch of 15 year old on a monday night.
metro rides are fun. people watching is fun. watching people on the metro is glorious. good convo.
... can't wait till summer.
Monday, April 28, 2003
retarded thought of the moment
SuspectRed: 8-)
SuspectRed: sounds fab
AmngStarz: fab
AmngStarz: i should use that
AmngStarz: considering
AmngStarz: ::bangs head on desk::
AmngStarz: lol
AmngStarz: im on CRACK
SuspectRed: sounds fab
AmngStarz: fab
AmngStarz: i should use that
AmngStarz: considering
AmngStarz: ::bangs head on desk::
AmngStarz: lol
AmngStarz: im on CRACK
profound thought of the moment
AmngStarz: ...
Auto response from DrJason609: is it be who you are or is it be who you wanna be?
AmngStarz: why would you want to be anything other than what you are, love?
Auto response from DrJason609: is it be who you are or is it be who you wanna be?
AmngStarz: why would you want to be anything other than what you are, love?
Saturday, April 26, 2003
dreams
i have been having the weirdest dreams. i don't remember all of them completely... just a few vivid pieces that stick out in my brain. moments. here they are. freud loves me.
last night i had driven a long distance to go see a boy. like, hours. we meet at his friend's house because she is having a party. this girl, though... i'm guessing she likes the boy i am meeting... and so we can't really talk in front of her. so we chill and have a good time at the party. but there was this one point where the girl left the room and we were leaned up against the wall and he and i were arguing about kissing each other. i just remember his hands. they were stubby and fat. horrible finger nails... like i don't even wanna talk about them. anyways, at this point i felt bad because i know he wanted to kiss me but i didn't want to kiss him. he was really short too. so i decided to kiss him just to get it over with (since i drove all this way for the boy and all) and plus, once we kissed and there was no spark, it would be closure.
but man... i went in to kiss him and he playfully pulled away and fought with me for a few seconds before our lips hit each other... i don't remember the kiss... i just remember pulling away and being dizzy from it. it was that good of a kiss. i was pissed.
then all i remember is the party now having all of these people that i knew there.
so that was last night.
the night before that it was even weirder.
i was in at an event... similar to a high school graduation... but i was an alumni. i wasn't more than a few years older than most of the students attending the event. i was wearing a long skirt and shoes that hurt my feet. i just remember being in a parking lot area like the bus lot at QO with this boy. he was wearing a white collared shirt and a dark gray and green tie. we were having a flirty conversation about something... i was talking about how i was older than he was... i was chewing on some really powerful dentine-ice kinda gum. like, i had just put two pieces in my mouth. my whole mouth was having that cool tingly feeling. before i knew it he leaned in to kiss me and i this gum was totally in the way. he stole some of it. my god that was a good kiss. minty and intense. then all of a sudden i ask the question "do you have a girl friend?" and he goes... "well... kinda." and proceeds to describe some popular, pretty bitch that he really doesn't like.
suddenly we are in a book store... puts me in mind of the Book Exchange in CP. he's working there and we are touching and kissing in between the book shelves all naughty-like when no one can see us. then his girl friend comes in. she's got beautiful brown hair and is wearing a maroon dress... looks like the one i wore to homecoming senior year. anywho i try to play it casual and pretend i don't know the guy. they are talking and i go up to the counter to pretend to ask him about a book. he's all nervous and tries to blow me off. i tell him that he is a horrible employee and walk out.
craziness. i can totally see how different parts of my life and my thoughts are present in these little scenarios. take that as you will, people... don't hate. ::innocent grin::
i'm going to use these in some short stories i think. i'll let you know with update versions as soon as i write them.
last night i had driven a long distance to go see a boy. like, hours. we meet at his friend's house because she is having a party. this girl, though... i'm guessing she likes the boy i am meeting... and so we can't really talk in front of her. so we chill and have a good time at the party. but there was this one point where the girl left the room and we were leaned up against the wall and he and i were arguing about kissing each other. i just remember his hands. they were stubby and fat. horrible finger nails... like i don't even wanna talk about them. anyways, at this point i felt bad because i know he wanted to kiss me but i didn't want to kiss him. he was really short too. so i decided to kiss him just to get it over with (since i drove all this way for the boy and all) and plus, once we kissed and there was no spark, it would be closure.
but man... i went in to kiss him and he playfully pulled away and fought with me for a few seconds before our lips hit each other... i don't remember the kiss... i just remember pulling away and being dizzy from it. it was that good of a kiss. i was pissed.
then all i remember is the party now having all of these people that i knew there.
so that was last night.
the night before that it was even weirder.
i was in at an event... similar to a high school graduation... but i was an alumni. i wasn't more than a few years older than most of the students attending the event. i was wearing a long skirt and shoes that hurt my feet. i just remember being in a parking lot area like the bus lot at QO with this boy. he was wearing a white collared shirt and a dark gray and green tie. we were having a flirty conversation about something... i was talking about how i was older than he was... i was chewing on some really powerful dentine-ice kinda gum. like, i had just put two pieces in my mouth. my whole mouth was having that cool tingly feeling. before i knew it he leaned in to kiss me and i this gum was totally in the way. he stole some of it. my god that was a good kiss. minty and intense. then all of a sudden i ask the question "do you have a girl friend?" and he goes... "well... kinda." and proceeds to describe some popular, pretty bitch that he really doesn't like.
suddenly we are in a book store... puts me in mind of the Book Exchange in CP. he's working there and we are touching and kissing in between the book shelves all naughty-like when no one can see us. then his girl friend comes in. she's got beautiful brown hair and is wearing a maroon dress... looks like the one i wore to homecoming senior year. anywho i try to play it casual and pretend i don't know the guy. they are talking and i go up to the counter to pretend to ask him about a book. he's all nervous and tries to blow me off. i tell him that he is a horrible employee and walk out.
craziness. i can totally see how different parts of my life and my thoughts are present in these little scenarios. take that as you will, people... don't hate. ::innocent grin::
i'm going to use these in some short stories i think. i'll let you know with update versions as soon as i write them.
Friday, April 25, 2003
Wednesday, April 23, 2003
drool.
"When a person awakes each day not often does he think of that day in terms of all the other days that came before or those that will come after. It is just one day comprised of moments, small microscopic increments of time, some more memorable than others. These days comprised of small moments are what is captured in these photos. I strive to capture the lesser moments, the ones that we tend to let slip. All it takes is some slow time, and a lazy eye that waits to blink. By taking the moments out of context I hope to understand them and may be appreciate the day as a whole more.
Even though the meaning derived from such a close examination may not approach the true nature of this moment, it may at times make the "waking up" part easier.
It seems to me that by paying attention to small details the bigger parts of the whole come to a clearer place. A place where light is more penetrating, thoughts are more lasting and the movement of life makes sense, if only for a short moment."
- MicHael Galkovsky
Even though the meaning derived from such a close examination may not approach the true nature of this moment, it may at times make the "waking up" part easier.
It seems to me that by paying attention to small details the bigger parts of the whole come to a clearer place. A place where light is more penetrating, thoughts are more lasting and the movement of life makes sense, if only for a short moment."
- MicHael Galkovsky
still ... talking about yer mom.
so i have a new idea for yer mom. since no one else really posts anymore... and even less people really read anymore... i am just going to put up all of the random things i write in my notebooks throughout the day. this way, all my napkins, backs of receipts and interrupted class note-takings can be fully recorded and appreciated.
but if there are any of you lurkers out there who would like to change your status and join forces with me (meaning that you'd like to take on an alias and blog yer mom), click on that email link. my current staff licks my imaginary ball sack and they need some new contenders to come in and threaten to take their spots. i'll let almost anyone with a knack for writing nonsensical babble in. i mean, just take a look at the archives and you'll understand.
but if there are any of you lurkers out there who would like to change your status and join forces with me (meaning that you'd like to take on an alias and blog yer mom), click on that email link. my current staff licks my imaginary ball sack and they need some new contenders to come in and threaten to take their spots. i'll let almost anyone with a knack for writing nonsensical babble in. i mean, just take a look at the archives and you'll understand.
yep.
every time it seems that i am making a bit of progress... something grabs my mane and pulls me back. it's like i'm a fucking race horse, and somebody forgot to tell me. i just go! go! go! until i get tired or until i feel that yanking feeling. but it doesn't matter... because i'm only going around in circles.
Tuesday, April 22, 2003
Sunday, April 20, 2003
written in church ...
easter. on 4/20.
makes me wonder how many people there are "doing weed" right now in comparison to the number of those attending worship servies.
::shakes head::
i don't. want to know.
... and yet.
"dying in sin... or dying to sin?"
my cousin's wife is in the hospital. she went into a coma-like state last night. today... my prayers are with her, her husband, and her four year old daughter.
makes me wonder how many people there are "doing weed" right now in comparison to the number of those attending worship servies.
::shakes head::
i don't. want to know.
... and yet.
"dying in sin... or dying to sin?"
"i have taken the sting for you..."
my cousin's wife is in the hospital. she went into a coma-like state last night. today... my prayers are with her, her husband, and her four year old daughter.
Saturday, April 19, 2003
i totally have one of those. i actually... legitimately have one.
i'm talking about a forever friend, silly. you know... those people you will be connected to always. and man... i called that shit too. "simply forever" was our title in my virtual blog of high school. man... that maked me wonder what my blog would have been like back at good old QO. that would be hilarious to go back and read. a shame this blog thing didn't come around till college.
she said that she felt like we could go years without really talking and just pick up where we left off... because that's basically what we did. she said that she knew we had separate lives... and we are both bad at keeping in touch... but that's just how we are. she knows that if she weren't in NY and i wasn't here in MD... we'd be besties (even though i refuse to use that term anymore. i think it's jinxed).
i had so much fun... just being in her presence again. we just fit. i'll tell you about what we did tomorrow night. who knows. for now... it's sleepie time.
i'm talking about a forever friend, silly. you know... those people you will be connected to always. and man... i called that shit too. "simply forever" was our title in my virtual blog of high school. man... that maked me wonder what my blog would have been like back at good old QO. that would be hilarious to go back and read. a shame this blog thing didn't come around till college.
she said that she felt like we could go years without really talking and just pick up where we left off... because that's basically what we did. she said that she knew we had separate lives... and we are both bad at keeping in touch... but that's just how we are. she knows that if she weren't in NY and i wasn't here in MD... we'd be besties (even though i refuse to use that term anymore. i think it's jinxed).
i had so much fun... just being in her presence again. we just fit. i'll tell you about what we did tomorrow night. who knows. for now... it's sleepie time.
Friday, April 18, 2003
Thursday, April 17, 2003
teh hoodie
so i had a light bulb go off today.
shocking... i know. i figured out why i like big, baggy hoodies so much. no no... it has nothing to do with how cumfie they are. ... nor the fact that are spelled hoodies. ... and although i do look enticingly cute with a hood on. ... and aside from the fashion statement/weather protectant tool combo those things have going for them...
it is because they are my ultimate comfort food... so to speak.
let me explain:
wearing them reminds me of boyz. you see... when you are in a relationship, or even just close to a guy... there is this sick sort of flirting thing that girls partake in.
... it's called stealing.
snatching their hat is a good example. even if it is always sweat-stained and smelly... if he lets you hold onto it for a while, after chasing you playfully for a spell... or better yet... if he lets you keep it forever- you're golden.
but for me... my favorite... especially during the fall... has gotta be yoinking his favorite, 3 sizes to big for me sweatshirt. and because i have always had a weak spot for grungie, skatie hotties... it usually ends up being a hoodie. it's just a plus of being in a relationship, i guess... my wardrobe doubles (well, let's be honest here... in most cases... triples). and they dig it because then they get their clothes back smelling like me (and those of you who know... you know i smell damn fine).
so over the past 2 and a half (oh dear freaking lord) years... i have managed to collect a ridiculously large assortment of hoodies to fool my subconscious into thinking i still have that warm, safe, bear-hug of a boy's arms around me.
i am so adorable... in a sad, pitiful sort of way. sigh.
shocking... i know. i figured out why i like big, baggy hoodies so much. no no... it has nothing to do with how cumfie they are. ... nor the fact that are spelled hoodies. ... and although i do look enticingly cute with a hood on. ... and aside from the fashion statement/weather protectant tool combo those things have going for them...
it is because they are my ultimate comfort food... so to speak.
let me explain:
wearing them reminds me of boyz. you see... when you are in a relationship, or even just close to a guy... there is this sick sort of flirting thing that girls partake in.
... it's called stealing.
snatching their hat is a good example. even if it is always sweat-stained and smelly... if he lets you hold onto it for a while, after chasing you playfully for a spell... or better yet... if he lets you keep it forever- you're golden.
but for me... my favorite... especially during the fall... has gotta be yoinking his favorite, 3 sizes to big for me sweatshirt. and because i have always had a weak spot for grungie, skatie hotties... it usually ends up being a hoodie. it's just a plus of being in a relationship, i guess... my wardrobe doubles (well, let's be honest here... in most cases... triples). and they dig it because then they get their clothes back smelling like me (and those of you who know... you know i smell damn fine).
so over the past 2 and a half (oh dear freaking lord) years... i have managed to collect a ridiculously large assortment of hoodies to fool my subconscious into thinking i still have that warm, safe, bear-hug of a boy's arms around me.
i am so adorable... in a sad, pitiful sort of way. sigh.
i dunno. some words.
i never asked you
to do
anything
that you
didn't want to
do
i never tried to
use you
for anything
untrue
or even true
that i knew
of
i guess
i didn't
have to
you just did it anyways
because you thought
that was how it was supposed to
go.
to do
anything
that you
didn't want to
do
i never tried to
use you
for anything
untrue
or even true
that i knew
of
i guess
i didn't
have to
you just did it anyways
because you thought
that was how it was supposed to
go.
i am a failure ...
i am skipping my Family Therapy class. and with every key i hit... my guilt gets thicker. i love this class, but friggin WHY did it hafta be at 9:30 in the morning? whatever... i have only skipped it once before this. i don't need to justify my actions. i am a grown up making logical decisions.
i have it all planned out in my head. i am skipping so i can do my work for my afternoon classes.
...
i have it all planned out in my head. i am skipping so i can do my work for my afternoon classes.
...
Monday, April 14, 2003
crazy weekend. fuck blogger for not letting me tell you about it yesterday. i'll hafta do that tonight.
wee income taxes. my P-ness is out of control. such the procrastinator, i am.
*bux has decided to bend me over and make me take it up the pooper... so much added responsibility. i did not want this until after i graduated. eep.
i'll handle mah bizzzzzzniizzzzzz, though. you know how we do.
DrJason: girls who smoke are gross
AmngStarz: lol
DrJason: is that a good reason to not like someone
AmngStarz: not really
AmngStarz: unless it reflects their whole lifestyle
DrJason: well you don't like people who smoke weed
DrJason: whats the difference
AmngStarz: i have liked people who did weed
DrJason: smoking is gross though. who wants to kiss someone who smells like an ashtray
AmngStarz: and it wasnt a problem until it effected their whole lifestyle
AmngStarz: thats what i mean
DrJason: did weed
DrJason: please don't say that ever again
AmngStarz: some smokers are clean smokers
DrJason: oh
AmngStarz: dont say what
DrJason: "did weed"
AmngStarz: lol
AmngStarz: hater
... ok this was the worst post ever. WoO!
wee income taxes. my P-ness is out of control. such the procrastinator, i am.
*bux has decided to bend me over and make me take it up the pooper... so much added responsibility. i did not want this until after i graduated. eep.
i'll handle mah bizzzzzzniizzzzzz, though. you know how we do.
DrJason: girls who smoke are gross
AmngStarz: lol
DrJason: is that a good reason to not like someone
AmngStarz: not really
AmngStarz: unless it reflects their whole lifestyle
DrJason: well you don't like people who smoke weed
DrJason: whats the difference
AmngStarz: i have liked people who did weed
DrJason: smoking is gross though. who wants to kiss someone who smells like an ashtray
AmngStarz: and it wasnt a problem until it effected their whole lifestyle
AmngStarz: thats what i mean
DrJason: did weed
DrJason: please don't say that ever again
AmngStarz: some smokers are clean smokers
DrJason: oh
AmngStarz: dont say what
DrJason: "did weed"
AmngStarz: lol
AmngStarz: hater
... ok this was the worst post ever. WoO!
Friday, April 11, 2003
i am so hurting for content ...
da friday fizzzive.
1. What was the first band you saw in concert?
huey lewis and the news. back in like 5th grade. rawk.
2. Who is your favorite artist/band now?
too many to name. might hafta go with the masses and say john mayer. i'd be lying if i said his cd didn't have a perma-spot in my daily drive line-up for the last 10 months.
3. What's your favorite song?
ugh. too hard! of the moment... prolly '83.
4. If you could play any instrument, what would it be?
piano. or the gheetar so i don't hafta rely on a certain someone to help me.
5. If you could meet any musical icon (past or present), who would it be and why?
ella fitzgerald. just because her voice is perfect.
1. What was the first band you saw in concert?
huey lewis and the news. back in like 5th grade. rawk.
2. Who is your favorite artist/band now?
too many to name. might hafta go with the masses and say john mayer. i'd be lying if i said his cd didn't have a perma-spot in my daily drive line-up for the last 10 months.
3. What's your favorite song?
ugh. too hard! of the moment... prolly '83.
4. If you could play any instrument, what would it be?
piano. or the gheetar so i don't hafta rely on a certain someone to help me.
5. If you could meet any musical icon (past or present), who would it be and why?
ella fitzgerald. just because her voice is perfect.
Thursday, April 10, 2003
wednesday whimsies
(stolen from fuzzie)
1. i have, approximately, ________ misdemeanors and ________ felonies under my belt.
double zero's baby. like i told my fave *bux copper tonight... i am a good girl.
2. asian or latin fetish. one or the other, no substitutes. explain.
asian. ::drool:: little punk asian boyz are THE cutest, ever. plus, my last first kiss was with one... so that's still sittin in the back of my mind.
3. what was the last thing you lied to your parents about?
... ummn. does it make me a nerd that i can't remember because it has been so long?
4. what was the last song you listened to while engaged in intercourse or self.stimulation?
telepopmusik - breathe. my away messages never lie.
5. ________ is best suited for ________.
liz. love.
1. i have, approximately, ________ misdemeanors and ________ felonies under my belt.
double zero's baby. like i told my fave *bux copper tonight... i am a good girl.
2. asian or latin fetish. one or the other, no substitutes. explain.
asian. ::drool:: little punk asian boyz are THE cutest, ever. plus, my last first kiss was with one... so that's still sittin in the back of my mind.
3. what was the last thing you lied to your parents about?
... ummn. does it make me a nerd that i can't remember because it has been so long?
4. what was the last song you listened to while engaged in intercourse or self.stimulation?
telepopmusik - breathe. my away messages never lie.
5. ________ is best suited for ________.
liz. love.
Wednesday, April 09, 2003
i never wanted to be a goddess
but i kinda like the view
from this pedestal that you
put me on
i always wanted to fly away
but there's just something about that look in your eyes when you say
stay
so if i jumped off of this pedestal
and tried to fly but fell
would you still catch me at the bottom
and would i still be able to tell
you i loved you
Monday, April 07, 2003
i felt a little tingle.
anybody know anything about living in texas? i hear so far that austin is the place to be... that there is a great young adult community and a lot of local music happenings. and i know that a new starbux opened in dallas not too long ago.
... i dunno know why. the thought just kinda crossed my mind. tingle.
... i dunno know why. the thought just kinda crossed my mind. tingle.
drag queens, irish pubs, singledom and smiles.
i have not been that drunk since freshman year, denton 1. eep!! ... let me backtrack.
friday night... that drag show- best free entertainment i have had all year. i DID find myself a date... quite the hottie too. and drag queens scare him, so you knew he was there because he loves me :) we had a most-excellent time playing the butch dike and feminine queen couple. (why am i always the butch one??) kevin was, by far, the best performer. he did two numbers. first was big spender, second was a dedication to his husband off at war. i have never laughed and cried so much all in the same night. i am so going to see a professional show sometime... and rick (my date) and i are going to try out for a local playhouse sometime this summer. all those broadway tunes got us in the mood, what can i say?
saturday... i slept in really late because i was distracted from my bed. names have been changed to protect yo momma.
AmngStarz: what are you trying to do
AmngStarz: seriously
fuzzybunny: im uh, blogging..
fuzzybunny: you dont blog topless?
fuzzybunny: :-D
AmngStarz: ::shakes head::
AmngStarz: so sad.
AmngStarz: lol
fuzzybunny: lol
fuzzybunny: you should try it
AmngStarz: i have
fuzzybunny: woohoo!
AmngStarz: ::resumes head shaking::
fuzzybunny: what??
AmngStarz: so sad.
is it a bad thing that that was the highlight of our conversation?? ::cough cough::
anywho... like i was saying. i slept in really late. my daddie woke me up. i had the bestest lunch EVER. pb and j on white (squished to purple perfection) with lays regular potato chips and a fuji apple (with extra pb for dipping purposes) and a big ol' glass of 2% milk. later that evening... also had the bestest dinner EVER because daddie and i decided to have the first family barBQ of the year... complete with grilled meat, pasta salad, deviled eggs and margaritas.
i would, however, like to take a moment to mourn the death of our grill. that hussy opened up a little too much throughout her better days, and had let herself go with rust and goo and leaves from this past winter. we tried and tried to clean her up... even got one last fire out of her... but alas, she did not make it.
after a kodak moment of an evening with the fam, i zoomed into hyper-social-butterfly mode and got up to Berwin to join my favorite bantering couple for a trip over to Old Alexandria.
e had quite a journey getting there (and i found that jeff gives diz more reason to complain about his aggressive driving than she does mine ), but soon arrived in Murphy's... an excellent little green dive for us pasty redheadeds to get sloshed and sing along with a cubic SHITLOAD of hot young men. and yeah... so sue me... i wore a low cut shirt. i thought the effects would me minimal... oh was i wrong. i should have put two and two together with my golden streak that i have going and this rack?!?! i mean, hello, liz. WAKE UP!! the second we get in the crowded place, three guys by the door start oogling me and yelling "OOOOHHHHH YEAHHHHH, PAAAAAAARTAAAAY!"
snort.
i have decided that i want to be one of those folk singer guys in these bars. everyone knows the words to your songs and you get to say bitch a lot. plus, if i wear that shirt while performing... i should get mad tips. anywho, after a few hours of yuengling and lemon drops... the local chicies with us wanted to head over to a dancing bar a few blocks away. after bonding over our psuedo singledom, karran and i walked arm and arm into this place... very Bentley's esq. for you college park folks. only bigger. way. bigger. the door man also got in his giggles with my shirt... and i was completely spoiled by jeff who decided to keep giving me wings with red bull and vodka. and dear me, that shit is good. little did i know just how good. i had fun dancing, even though diz was poopie and that one girl knocked my drink out of my hand. i also found that my shirt was instrumental in helping me catch my drink when letting it slip out of my hand when highly intoxicated. just call me, wet boobs, McGee!!
after a wonderfully stumbling walk back to the car, i almost died on the car ride home. the rest of the evening was a little bit of a blur. i remember fighting to stay awake while listening to jeff talk about his job... the starbux venti ice water... and something about a threesome that just could not happen because of diz's bloated penis. who knows.
i do know that the freakiness STILL continues because i swore i had a dream that diz and jeff were trying to fuck with me about what time is was in the morning... and sure enough... after i wake up they lie to me and tell me it's 12 noon when it is really only 10 am. but then the joke was on them because i looked at my cell phone an hour later and it WAS 12 noon. that time change fucked me up. we all had forgotten. OH OH, but i am the coolest because i didn't have a hang over... and i didn't barf. go, me. we went to dunkin donuts to celebrate and i had yet another note-worthy drive back home.
that reminds me... i forgot to mention that i had a show down with a cop on 270 on my way home on thursday night. i was already weirded out by that phone booth incident, but i'm cruisin 80 in the HOV lane and this cop pulls up right next to me... i wig out and slow down... he slows down... i speed up... he speeds up. but he's hiding in my blind spot. so i slow quickly so i can get even with his window and he just shoots me this big ass grin and speeds off. insane, i know. i'm surprised i forgot to mention that.
work today was kinda crazy at first... but we still had a hella good close. i am pissed i didn't get to go to the blend off, though. everyone knows that i would have won hands down because i am so oldskool and all the judges sweat me hard. but whatev... i WILL redeem myself at the barista olympics. and dear lord, why does he hafta be so cute? why does his smile hafta be so genuine and clean? i see those blue eyes and that little smirk and i just want to giggle and play with my hair. oh OH. and it is official... i have a thing for Mr. Grande Awake Tea. did i mention that my favorite smell is that clean boy smell? drool. just in case you were wondering...
this is going to be a long post. i know i have probably lost half of you already. i'll give anyone who reads this whole thing and leaves a shout out a special prize. ::wink wink::
shannon and i got into a discussion about my singleness. it always comes up eventually... ::rolls eyes:: she related to me though, and said she knew of NO ONE in my age range who is single, available, and quality. all the good ones are taken by bitches like her!! she deserves her's, though. i think they are gunna git married. she's gonna take me along to kings dominion in a few weeks to meet his brother... heh. i never said i was opposed to being set up!! (that is a HINT, people).
so i ran the shift very well... even with rickipoo's suck-ass open shift. i swear, i don't know what he does all day because JACK CRAP gets done. moving on.. at the end of the shift, WE had to take over the deposit to the back (clearly a morning shift duty) and i saw what's his face over at jerry's on the way. his smile... friggen. damn.
as much as i want to dislike this boy all he has to do is flash me those gorgeous lips and teeth... the way his eyes crinkle up and his whole persona lights up. those little creases at the corners of his mouth. friggen i just can't shake that image. only one other smile has ever really made me feel like that...
i'll never forget that smile. fuckin 9th grade walking down the hill from the bus stop... aron was walking up. as he came into view i saw his brown hair, his big brown eyes and this eruption of white on tan skin. he looked down, suddenly blushing, and i quickened my pace. i don't remember if we hugged? kissed? or anything we said... just that fucking smile. you could just feel the love busting out of his mouth.
i'm definitely smile focused tonight. maybe it's this love thing i have going for me lately. send me pics of your smiles... i'll put them up here so i can see them all the time! :)
my mommie isn't doing so well. she needs a vacation and a maid, i think. i just wish i had more time at home to help keep things clean and functioning. oh well... i gotta keep doing what i can until may... then i'll surprise her with some real spring cleaning. werd.
wish me luck this week... i totally have senioritis now. i WILL go to ALL of my classes. yes.
friday night... that drag show- best free entertainment i have had all year. i DID find myself a date... quite the hottie too. and drag queens scare him, so you knew he was there because he loves me :) we had a most-excellent time playing the butch dike and feminine queen couple. (why am i always the butch one??) kevin was, by far, the best performer. he did two numbers. first was big spender, second was a dedication to his husband off at war. i have never laughed and cried so much all in the same night. i am so going to see a professional show sometime... and rick (my date) and i are going to try out for a local playhouse sometime this summer. all those broadway tunes got us in the mood, what can i say?
saturday... i slept in really late because i was distracted from my bed. names have been changed to protect yo momma.
AmngStarz: what are you trying to do
AmngStarz: seriously
fuzzybunny: im uh, blogging..
fuzzybunny: you dont blog topless?
fuzzybunny: :-D
AmngStarz: ::shakes head::
AmngStarz: so sad.
AmngStarz: lol
fuzzybunny: lol
fuzzybunny: you should try it
AmngStarz: i have
fuzzybunny: woohoo!
AmngStarz: ::resumes head shaking::
fuzzybunny: what??
AmngStarz: so sad.
is it a bad thing that that was the highlight of our conversation?? ::cough cough::
anywho... like i was saying. i slept in really late. my daddie woke me up. i had the bestest lunch EVER. pb and j on white (squished to purple perfection) with lays regular potato chips and a fuji apple (with extra pb for dipping purposes) and a big ol' glass of 2% milk. later that evening... also had the bestest dinner EVER because daddie and i decided to have the first family barBQ of the year... complete with grilled meat, pasta salad, deviled eggs and margaritas.
i would, however, like to take a moment to mourn the death of our grill. that hussy opened up a little too much throughout her better days, and had let herself go with rust and goo and leaves from this past winter. we tried and tried to clean her up... even got one last fire out of her... but alas, she did not make it.
after a kodak moment of an evening with the fam, i zoomed into hyper-social-butterfly mode and got up to Berwin to join my favorite bantering couple for a trip over to Old Alexandria.
e had quite a journey getting there (and i found that jeff gives diz more reason to complain about his aggressive driving than she does mine ), but soon arrived in Murphy's... an excellent little green dive for us pasty redheadeds to get sloshed and sing along with a cubic SHITLOAD of hot young men. and yeah... so sue me... i wore a low cut shirt. i thought the effects would me minimal... oh was i wrong. i should have put two and two together with my golden streak that i have going and this rack?!?! i mean, hello, liz. WAKE UP!! the second we get in the crowded place, three guys by the door start oogling me and yelling "OOOOHHHHH YEAHHHHH, PAAAAAAARTAAAAY!"
snort.
i have decided that i want to be one of those folk singer guys in these bars. everyone knows the words to your songs and you get to say bitch a lot. plus, if i wear that shirt while performing... i should get mad tips. anywho, after a few hours of yuengling and lemon drops... the local chicies with us wanted to head over to a dancing bar a few blocks away. after bonding over our psuedo singledom, karran and i walked arm and arm into this place... very Bentley's esq. for you college park folks. only bigger. way. bigger. the door man also got in his giggles with my shirt... and i was completely spoiled by jeff who decided to keep giving me wings with red bull and vodka. and dear me, that shit is good. little did i know just how good. i had fun dancing, even though diz was poopie and that one girl knocked my drink out of my hand. i also found that my shirt was instrumental in helping me catch my drink when letting it slip out of my hand when highly intoxicated. just call me, wet boobs, McGee!!
after a wonderfully stumbling walk back to the car, i almost died on the car ride home. the rest of the evening was a little bit of a blur. i remember fighting to stay awake while listening to jeff talk about his job... the starbux venti ice water... and something about a threesome that just could not happen because of diz's bloated penis. who knows.
i do know that the freakiness STILL continues because i swore i had a dream that diz and jeff were trying to fuck with me about what time is was in the morning... and sure enough... after i wake up they lie to me and tell me it's 12 noon when it is really only 10 am. but then the joke was on them because i looked at my cell phone an hour later and it WAS 12 noon. that time change fucked me up. we all had forgotten. OH OH, but i am the coolest because i didn't have a hang over... and i didn't barf. go, me. we went to dunkin donuts to celebrate and i had yet another note-worthy drive back home.
that reminds me... i forgot to mention that i had a show down with a cop on 270 on my way home on thursday night. i was already weirded out by that phone booth incident, but i'm cruisin 80 in the HOV lane and this cop pulls up right next to me... i wig out and slow down... he slows down... i speed up... he speeds up. but he's hiding in my blind spot. so i slow quickly so i can get even with his window and he just shoots me this big ass grin and speeds off. insane, i know. i'm surprised i forgot to mention that.
work today was kinda crazy at first... but we still had a hella good close. i am pissed i didn't get to go to the blend off, though. everyone knows that i would have won hands down because i am so oldskool and all the judges sweat me hard. but whatev... i WILL redeem myself at the barista olympics. and dear lord, why does he hafta be so cute? why does his smile hafta be so genuine and clean? i see those blue eyes and that little smirk and i just want to giggle and play with my hair. oh OH. and it is official... i have a thing for Mr. Grande Awake Tea. did i mention that my favorite smell is that clean boy smell? drool. just in case you were wondering...
this is going to be a long post. i know i have probably lost half of you already. i'll give anyone who reads this whole thing and leaves a shout out a special prize. ::wink wink::
shannon and i got into a discussion about my singleness. it always comes up eventually... ::rolls eyes:: she related to me though, and said she knew of NO ONE in my age range who is single, available, and quality. all the good ones are taken by bitches like her!! she deserves her's, though. i think they are gunna git married. she's gonna take me along to kings dominion in a few weeks to meet his brother... heh. i never said i was opposed to being set up!! (that is a HINT, people).
so i ran the shift very well... even with rickipoo's suck-ass open shift. i swear, i don't know what he does all day because JACK CRAP gets done. moving on.. at the end of the shift, WE had to take over the deposit to the back (clearly a morning shift duty) and i saw what's his face over at jerry's on the way. his smile... friggen. damn.
as much as i want to dislike this boy all he has to do is flash me those gorgeous lips and teeth... the way his eyes crinkle up and his whole persona lights up. those little creases at the corners of his mouth. friggen i just can't shake that image. only one other smile has ever really made me feel like that...
i'll never forget that smile. fuckin 9th grade walking down the hill from the bus stop... aron was walking up. as he came into view i saw his brown hair, his big brown eyes and this eruption of white on tan skin. he looked down, suddenly blushing, and i quickened my pace. i don't remember if we hugged? kissed? or anything we said... just that fucking smile. you could just feel the love busting out of his mouth.
i'm definitely smile focused tonight. maybe it's this love thing i have going for me lately. send me pics of your smiles... i'll put them up here so i can see them all the time! :)
my mommie isn't doing so well. she needs a vacation and a maid, i think. i just wish i had more time at home to help keep things clean and functioning. oh well... i gotta keep doing what i can until may... then i'll surprise her with some real spring cleaning. werd.
wish me luck this week... i totally have senioritis now. i WILL go to ALL of my classes. yes.
Saturday, April 05, 2003
my first friday five ever!! (and only an hour late!)
1. How many houses/apartments have you lived in throughout your life?
only one for longer than 6 months. but including all of my nomadic living over the past 3 years... 6 total.
2. Which was your favorite and why?
ooooo. tough one. that's mean too. of course my home home is my favorite. but i had a bomb summer sharing two suites with kinya. best roommate ever.
3. Do you find moving house more exciting or stressful? Why?
i think it is exciting because it marks a beginning. an opportunity for growth and a time for change. however... if you hafta do it as much as i have with little or no help... it gets stressful real quick.
4. What's more important, location or price?
i'd like to say location... my heart says location. but my bills and debts say price.
5. What features does your dream house have (pool, spa bath, big yard, etc.)?
a wrap around porch with a swing in front and a screened-in patio in the back. i want a yard... preferably with no fence and a great view of some kind of natural landscape. i want to be able to sit outside and read, write, draw, make music, star gaze and do all those little lizzie things i do. over-sized white christmas lights hanging from the screened-in ceiling in the back. a spot in the front to watch the kids wait for the bus and have an awesome set up for trick or treaters at halloween. i also want a big, comfortable lived-in feeling kitchen. that's where the magic happens. i don't care too much about what would fill it up or having my own movie theater or anything. i just want enough room to make memories.
only one for longer than 6 months. but including all of my nomadic living over the past 3 years... 6 total.
2. Which was your favorite and why?
ooooo. tough one. that's mean too. of course my home home is my favorite. but i had a bomb summer sharing two suites with kinya. best roommate ever.
3. Do you find moving house more exciting or stressful? Why?
i think it is exciting because it marks a beginning. an opportunity for growth and a time for change. however... if you hafta do it as much as i have with little or no help... it gets stressful real quick.
4. What's more important, location or price?
i'd like to say location... my heart says location. but my bills and debts say price.
5. What features does your dream house have (pool, spa bath, big yard, etc.)?
a wrap around porch with a swing in front and a screened-in patio in the back. i want a yard... preferably with no fence and a great view of some kind of natural landscape. i want to be able to sit outside and read, write, draw, make music, star gaze and do all those little lizzie things i do. over-sized white christmas lights hanging from the screened-in ceiling in the back. a spot in the front to watch the kids wait for the bus and have an awesome set up for trick or treaters at halloween. i also want a big, comfortable lived-in feeling kitchen. that's where the magic happens. i don't care too much about what would fill it up or having my own movie theater or anything. i just want enough room to make memories.
Friday, April 04, 2003
the yummy streak continues.
today... i had to go get my car inspected before i had my registration suspended. so i roll up, prepared to pay $44 worth of late fees. doode rings me up. i give him the dinero. when he comes back, though... he gives me $30 in change and winks. tells me to forward. SCORE.
then i had to make a mad dash to bethesda to have a class at the friendship hieghts store. a nieghboring district manager was teaching the class and i totally adored it. she's a hard core lady... open and honest and upfront. obviously, we clicked and i was a superstar. i met a few other cool partners and even knew the asst. manager of the store. during our lunch break i decided to wander about the city for a bit. found this awesome little market and stepped up to the register to pay. this place smelled like heaven. the cashier saw my logo on my sweatshirt and started to tell me about how he worked for bux about five years ago in NY. he took a break to shoot the shit with me for 20 min and gave me my lunch for free. SCORE.
i got back to class and make friends with an elderly lady in the cafe. she dropped her cane. i picked it up for her. she and i chatted about the store and she blew up my ego with compliments on my hair, friendly attitude and way of carrying myself. i was all tingly by the time our 45 min break was over. the second half of class proved to be sensational... i found out a lot of stuff about how my store can and SHOULD be improved. the teacher even gave me her card and told me to keep in touch. she and i discussed asst. management training at length and she was telling me about openings in her area. SCORE.
i also got one of my peer's phone number... she is really neat and hopefully we will get together sometime. had a glorious ride home and went back to my store to figure some paperwork out. my buddy gave me 2 free tickets to his variety show tonight too. BONUS. let's see if i can get a date for it. matt doesn't think i will be able to get a straight guy to go with me. but it's my first drag show ever and i wanna enjoy it with someone!! ::rowr:: i mean... would YOU wanna go by yourself??
well i am cooler than you, i guess.
then i had to make a mad dash to bethesda to have a class at the friendship hieghts store. a nieghboring district manager was teaching the class and i totally adored it. she's a hard core lady... open and honest and upfront. obviously, we clicked and i was a superstar. i met a few other cool partners and even knew the asst. manager of the store. during our lunch break i decided to wander about the city for a bit. found this awesome little market and stepped up to the register to pay. this place smelled like heaven. the cashier saw my logo on my sweatshirt and started to tell me about how he worked for bux about five years ago in NY. he took a break to shoot the shit with me for 20 min and gave me my lunch for free. SCORE.
i got back to class and make friends with an elderly lady in the cafe. she dropped her cane. i picked it up for her. she and i chatted about the store and she blew up my ego with compliments on my hair, friendly attitude and way of carrying myself. i was all tingly by the time our 45 min break was over. the second half of class proved to be sensational... i found out a lot of stuff about how my store can and SHOULD be improved. the teacher even gave me her card and told me to keep in touch. she and i discussed asst. management training at length and she was telling me about openings in her area. SCORE.
i also got one of my peer's phone number... she is really neat and hopefully we will get together sometime. had a glorious ride home and went back to my store to figure some paperwork out. my buddy gave me 2 free tickets to his variety show tonight too. BONUS. let's see if i can get a date for it. matt doesn't think i will be able to get a straight guy to go with me. but it's my first drag show ever and i wanna enjoy it with someone!! ::rowr:: i mean... would YOU wanna go by yourself??
well i am cooler than you, i guess.
Thursday, April 03, 2003
phone booth freakiness!!
ok. so remember that hot date? (not the plumber, asscrack... stephanie and colin). yeah. they are both the bomb. i loved the company. and i loved the movie. i was pissed that i couldn't figure out it was kiefer's voice the whole damn time though. it ate away at me, slowly.
but the freaky streak continues... we get out of the theater and walk to my car in Lot 1. That single phone booth... on the tennis court side of Cole... yeah. totally had the glass of one of the sides broken and scattered all over the sidewalk around it. that's just too scary to be coincidence.
dun dun dun!!!
but the freaky streak continues... we get out of the theater and walk to my car in Lot 1. That single phone booth... on the tennis court side of Cole... yeah. totally had the glass of one of the sides broken and scattered all over the sidewalk around it. that's just too scary to be coincidence.
dun dun dun!!!
i saw the sexiest boy today. i have no idea what he looks like, though... that is not the sexy part. he was sitting on a wooden bench faced towards a brick wall (some smart ass must have thought it would be cute to turn it around and face the wrong direction). and with a tethered, almost finished novel in his hand, he leaned his back against the bench, rested his bare feet up on the brick wall and used his bent knees and thighs as an armrest. his legs hovered over his gray pumas, neatly placed on the ground below. he sat, in the shadows of the trees on the mall, sun glasses resting in a mess of brown curls, reading. his fingers turned the pages with a few scattered silver rings (squeal!!), and the muscles on his forearms carelessly flexed with the movement. i don't know how to fully explain it... and i don't really care to. but my starz... i was swept away.
Wednesday, April 02, 2003
drive-thru sunshine. mmn.
i am seriously beginning to think that the menstrual cycle is really just a monthly way of reminding you how strong you are.
i had the best drives today. first day of the year that i had a damp layer of sweat on my back after my commute. perfect temperature, perfect sunshine, perfectly clean and non-squeaking car. windows half way down. stereo half way up. phantom planet is wondrous at 2pm on 495. just loud enough to drown out the noise of the traffic... just soft enough to let my voice shine through...
good shift with the district manager. good meeting with the internship boss lady. productive and enjoyable meeting for my family therapy project. excellent side track with kinya. glorious early evening nap. chill and yummy dinner with the whole nuclear family. daddy broke the sink, though. and mike lost his lax game. then my DSL decided to be a prude and not let me connect. i fixed it though, and have a hot date tomorrow with the plumber. not to mention one later in the evening with the hottness that is stephanie johnson and colin farrel ::wink wink::
i have flown through this book. i feel like i'm reading something i wrote. an unearthly sexy book. i'm all giddy just thinking about it. i'm going to dedicate a whole post to it soon enough, i know you can't wait. ahem.
now i somehow have to muster up enough motivation to finish my case briefs for tomorrow. sigh. i am so ready to graduate. i am so excited. weeeeeeee!
i had the best drives today. first day of the year that i had a damp layer of sweat on my back after my commute. perfect temperature, perfect sunshine, perfectly clean and non-squeaking car. windows half way down. stereo half way up. phantom planet is wondrous at 2pm on 495. just loud enough to drown out the noise of the traffic... just soft enough to let my voice shine through...
good shift with the district manager. good meeting with the internship boss lady. productive and enjoyable meeting for my family therapy project. excellent side track with kinya. glorious early evening nap. chill and yummy dinner with the whole nuclear family. daddy broke the sink, though. and mike lost his lax game. then my DSL decided to be a prude and not let me connect. i fixed it though, and have a hot date tomorrow with the plumber. not to mention one later in the evening with the hottness that is stephanie johnson and colin farrel ::wink wink::
i have flown through this book. i feel like i'm reading something i wrote. an unearthly sexy book. i'm all giddy just thinking about it. i'm going to dedicate a whole post to it soon enough, i know you can't wait. ahem.
now i somehow have to muster up enough motivation to finish my case briefs for tomorrow. sigh. i am so ready to graduate. i am so excited. weeeeeeee!
Tuesday, April 01, 2003
i've been having a major spell of heightened awareness. ok, maybe not awareness... heightened intuition. weird vibes. from multiple sources. mad connections going on. scary ones. those things that no one wants to try and understand or really discuss because it takes something bigger than they are to believe it. i have these moments where i can actually feel other people. without touching, talking, or even seeing them.
two weeks, this has been happening now. someone is trying to tell me something.
maybe it's time to start the writing again. the real writing. hrmmmn.
two weeks, this has been happening now. someone is trying to tell me something.
maybe it's time to start the writing again. the real writing. hrmmmn.
updated colorgenics.
damn. remember that color quiz i took a year ago?? when i had my old, ghetto WAM page up?? yeah you do... i know you've been watchin me for that long ::wink wink::
well... here is an update. still as scarily on point as last time.
You are the sort of person that needs a peaceful environment. You seek release from stress and freedom from conflicts and disagreements, of which you seem to have had more than your fair share. But you are taking pains to control the situation by proceeding cautiously and you are right in doing so as you are a very sensitive person.
You are looking for excitement and stimulation and you are ready to try anything - but be careful not to take too many risks.
Compromise is the name of the game at this time and it is the only way you can avoid being deprived of the love and affection you so rightly deserve -so soften up a little, be flexible.
You are pretending that the situation around you doesn't matter, but the effort of trying to conceal your emotions and anxieties is resulting in untold stress. The existing situation is disagreeable. You feel unwanted and lonely and you would really like to associate with someone whose ideals are as high as your own. You want to be above the standard of mediocrity and this need to be needed and that need to need has almost become an obsession. You are trying to magnify the need into a compelling urge. You would really like to tell the world how great you are but no, you are holding back because you feel that your peers may treat you with contempt. This is a great pity because you have in fact a unique quality of character, but the continual restraint that you impose on yourself makes you suppress this need for others and you pretend you don't really care. You treat those who criticise you with contempt. However, to be honest, beneath this assumption of indifference you really long for the approval and esteem of others.
You would like to be respected and valued for yourself and this can only be achieved from within a close and harmonious relationship.
well... here is an update. still as scarily on point as last time.
You are the sort of person that needs a peaceful environment. You seek release from stress and freedom from conflicts and disagreements, of which you seem to have had more than your fair share. But you are taking pains to control the situation by proceeding cautiously and you are right in doing so as you are a very sensitive person.
You are looking for excitement and stimulation and you are ready to try anything - but be careful not to take too many risks.
Compromise is the name of the game at this time and it is the only way you can avoid being deprived of the love and affection you so rightly deserve -so soften up a little, be flexible.
You are pretending that the situation around you doesn't matter, but the effort of trying to conceal your emotions and anxieties is resulting in untold stress. The existing situation is disagreeable. You feel unwanted and lonely and you would really like to associate with someone whose ideals are as high as your own. You want to be above the standard of mediocrity and this need to be needed and that need to need has almost become an obsession. You are trying to magnify the need into a compelling urge. You would really like to tell the world how great you are but no, you are holding back because you feel that your peers may treat you with contempt. This is a great pity because you have in fact a unique quality of character, but the continual restraint that you impose on yourself makes you suppress this need for others and you pretend you don't really care. You treat those who criticise you with contempt. However, to be honest, beneath this assumption of indifference you really long for the approval and esteem of others.
You would like to be respected and valued for yourself and this can only be achieved from within a close and harmonious relationship.
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