just sick of waiting.

it's been over a month since my site was taken down over at the black and white. i have been waiting to get the new address, among starz all put together and ready to unleash to the masses, but you'll notice that niether of these links actually work right now... and it's time for me to stop waiting for things to fall into place. my writing is suffering because of it- mainly in the fact that i'm not writing anything.

so for now, this is where i will be... but i hope not for long.

Jasimare01: I am sorry things are poopy
AmngStarz: they arent
AmngStarz: things are good
Jasimare01: ok captain happy
AmngStarz: the plan is way better now that it doesnt involve any sort of codependency
AmngStarz: im serious
AmngStarz: this is karma's way of helping me clean house before i move
AmngStarz: so i can focus
AmngStarz: on me
AmngStarz: and my dreams
Jasimare01: ok well then I am happy for you
AmngStarz: the sting... as much as i hate it... will drive me
Jasimare01: I hope it does
AmngStarz: tragic optimism
AmngStarz: its kinda pathetic

am i co-dependent?

Just do your thing
If it makes you feel better
Go on and sing
If it makes you feel better

funny how true this hits me right now
i feel absolutely worthless
but belting my words out loud
it's gonna help me through this

Shufflin' feet
Snuck up on me now
This young man's lost his way
He don't believe
All the stuff they told him
He's caught up in the fray

tangled up in this sub plot of a mess
read between the lines and find bold, black and white text
plainly stating
that you've been procrastinating

He said I've got this great big
Bag full of dreams
And I don't know what to do

i've wanted so much for so long
still finding all sorts of excuses
blaming my circumstances
begging for second chances
with maybes, whatevers and no uses

I said a wise man gave me
The key to life
And now I give it to you

i can't believe i thought i could trust any of you
like you'd treat my dreams as if they were your own
like they mattered at all
i thought connections like these were far between and few
but i'm done letting all that apathy bring me down
i've got no further to fall

And I said
Just do your thing
If it makes you feel better

forget honesty
forget all about me
you can go your way and i'll go mine
somehow i don't doubt that you'll end up lagging behind

You're running that race
A little bit faster now
Towards your finish lines
Such a disgrace

i can't believe
you wanted to play this game with me
you knew this back when it was time to begin
that even when i lose i'm still gonna win

You missed all the beautiful
You can't buy back the time

and i know you don't really care
but fuck, i'm just so, so scared

cause all i want is to make somethin beautiful
to see something beautiful
to be a part of something real
cause that's what's beautiful

So stop and love
And dance and live
And laugh until you cry
Don't wake up to realize that
Your time has passed you by

i realize now that i,
i've spent too much time
worrying about everybody else
working for anything-
and everything
except myself

Just do your thing
If it makes you feel better
Go on and sing
If it makes you feel better

my thing will have nothing to do with you ever again

never again
will i waste my honesty
on all of your lies

you can cling to your fears if you want to
but to your heart and your soul... you must be true

this heart says my love is true
but this soul says it doesn't matter cause i don't need you...