AmngStarz: i had a dream
AmngStarz: major drama
AmngStarz: it sucked
Kinya08: why would you dream about that
Kinya08: is that what you have been thinking about
AmngStarz: not at all
AmngStarz: its not a good sign though
Kinya08: i think you are a little worried about the uncertinity of it ever happening and thats why you dream of it.
AmngStarz: i give up, kinya
AmngStarz: i just give up
Kinya08: remeber your dreams are your thoughts
AmngStarz: yeah i know
AmngStarz: thats my self doubt
AmngStarz: itll never happen
Kinya08: exactly
Kinya08: thats all your thinking
AmngStarz: no ive been thinking other things lately
AmngStarz: but
AmngStarz: nothing ever happens
Kinya08: that doesnt mean its true, you know what i mean
AmngStarz: its this long game
AmngStarz: i know
AmngStarz: im just
AmngStarz: im sick of this damn game
AmngStarz: i want to know
AmngStarz: and be done
AmngStarz: what is so hard about this?
Thursday, October 31, 2002
Wednesday, October 30, 2002
"Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones b/c they're afraid of falling & getting hurt. Instead they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think that there is something wrong w/ them, when in reality, they are amazing. That is why we just have to be a little patient & the right boy the one who takes a chance to find the good, right apple will come someday..."
-J.J.
I wish I could believe that shit... sigh.
brilliant.
my intermediate writing partner in crime has come up with the most BRILLIANT paper topic ever:
praising tummy fat.
this is a concept near and dear to my heart, and in honor of her genius and inspiration, i shall be writing my own little ode to tummy fat. i'll keep you posted on how that goes... but i am definitely putting a chapter in my nanowrimo about this. and that starts in 2 days!! i'm so excited!
simply BRILLIANT!
praising tummy fat.
this is a concept near and dear to my heart, and in honor of her genius and inspiration, i shall be writing my own little ode to tummy fat. i'll keep you posted on how that goes... but i am definitely putting a chapter in my nanowrimo about this. and that starts in 2 days!! i'm so excited!
simply BRILLIANT!
Sunday, October 27, 2002
Fallen Angel
Wonderful, glorious, hallelujah inspiring time last night!! The costume party Dawn took us to was mucho funo. Laura Croft, Greek God, Fallen Angel, Walk of Shame Playboy Bunny and Tigger had one hell of a time. I predict a group like this venturing out to Platinum or Dream really soon. Mark my words.
Thursday, October 24, 2002
tesc H 101's AIM profile:
yeah... i look over my shoulder while i'm pumping gas....
i don't think anyone really has a good feeling about this sniper business. i just hope marib is wrong. i want things to be normal again. i want to have petty things to flip out over... i can't handle all of this heavy-duty poop. i don't like just sitting around, waiting to hear about the next victim. even if these are the guys that they have in custody... i'm still not feeling very safe.
yeah... i look over my shoulder while i'm pumping gas....
i don't think anyone really has a good feeling about this sniper business. i just hope marib is wrong. i want things to be normal again. i want to have petty things to flip out over... i can't handle all of this heavy-duty poop. i don't like just sitting around, waiting to hear about the next victim. even if these are the guys that they have in custody... i'm still not feeling very safe.
Wednesday, October 23, 2002
So I'm Thinking...
about adding a new section to my page. a sort of "list of lists." catchy name, eh?
it would include a virtual cornucopia, if you will, of lists about me. my goals, dreams, accomplishments, characteristics, favorite features... you know... more self-indulgent crap like that. good idea? bad idea? or is just like everyone else's personal page? sigh. creativity... please... come back to me!!!
it would include a virtual cornucopia, if you will, of lists about me. my goals, dreams, accomplishments, characteristics, favorite features... you know... more self-indulgent crap like that. good idea? bad idea? or is just like everyone else's personal page? sigh. creativity... please... come back to me!!!
Now Don't Get Me Wrong...
whenever someone says that sentence, i think of Goldfinger and that song fuck LA. all that yelling and screaming and bitching... followed up with that unexpected, deep, soothing voice. yep. that's kinda how i'm feeling.
everyone keeps getting me wrong.
back to the point. i walked behind two very cute little girls on my way to my first class today. they were essentially the same person. brown hair, pulled back into a nasty, greasy nest of curls. pastel pink bra headband looking thing. velour sweatsuit. one had a jean jacket on over top, however, thus proving her fashion superiority. now here's where i don't want you to get me wrong. i love velour. and sweatsuits. in fact, i had a bright green velour sweatsuit when i was in high school... i know some of you remember it. ::cough::
but come on now, people. doesn't it get to you that if i ever see either of you, my brain will automatically throw you into the pile of gazillion other cute lil' spark plugs like yourselves i see every day? that, in essence, everyone will remember you as those girls who look like all the other girls? i mean... do you ever even think about that? at all?
but then i started to think... does this really bother me? is this really some twisted, subconscious way that my brain is expressing the jealousy i have over these girls?
people keep assuring me that i'm not fat. like. a lot lately. and it's getting annoying. i KNOW i'm not fat. but i also KNOW that i am not petite. so when i make jokes about it... they are meant to be FUNNY... not some desperate attempt to get people to assure me i don't look like a whale.
i LIKE being a bigger girl. i am happy with my stature and my build. and i like that i don't look like everyone else. the only thing i would really change about my appearance is to shrink my gut a little bit - but i like food and beer (yay, carbohydrates!). so i can deal with that. and if you can't... then you are stupid.
everyone is concerned about their appearance. every girl looks at herself in the mirror every now and again, paranoid about looking unattractive. i do not have some major phobia about my body. but i swear... if this crap keeps up... it won't be long until i do.
everyone keeps getting me wrong.
back to the point. i walked behind two very cute little girls on my way to my first class today. they were essentially the same person. brown hair, pulled back into a nasty, greasy nest of curls. pastel pink bra headband looking thing. velour sweatsuit. one had a jean jacket on over top, however, thus proving her fashion superiority. now here's where i don't want you to get me wrong. i love velour. and sweatsuits. in fact, i had a bright green velour sweatsuit when i was in high school... i know some of you remember it. ::cough::
but come on now, people. doesn't it get to you that if i ever see either of you, my brain will automatically throw you into the pile of gazillion other cute lil' spark plugs like yourselves i see every day? that, in essence, everyone will remember you as those girls who look like all the other girls? i mean... do you ever even think about that? at all?
but then i started to think... does this really bother me? is this really some twisted, subconscious way that my brain is expressing the jealousy i have over these girls?
people keep assuring me that i'm not fat. like. a lot lately. and it's getting annoying. i KNOW i'm not fat. but i also KNOW that i am not petite. so when i make jokes about it... they are meant to be FUNNY... not some desperate attempt to get people to assure me i don't look like a whale.
i LIKE being a bigger girl. i am happy with my stature and my build. and i like that i don't look like everyone else. the only thing i would really change about my appearance is to shrink my gut a little bit - but i like food and beer (yay, carbohydrates!). so i can deal with that. and if you can't... then you are stupid.
everyone is concerned about their appearance. every girl looks at herself in the mirror every now and again, paranoid about looking unattractive. i do not have some major phobia about my body. but i swear... if this crap keeps up... it won't be long until i do.
Tuesday, October 22, 2002
my boy adam made a sexy new layout for his page, axe-wound.com
so, yeah... urmmn... go look at it. ::cheese::
so, yeah... urmmn... go look at it. ::cheese::
Monday, October 21, 2002
DCCD
So this weekend was interesting. I've been sick for about 5 days now, but i have reached the hawking phlegm stage, so looks like it's on its way out. But no, that was not the highlight of my adventures at 2020 Evansdale. We had a pretty rockin' party on friday night... and dizz won the bet.
... who am i kidding ...
she blew the bet out of the fucking water.
not that i'm bitter or anything. ::snort:: actually though, i'm surprisingly ok with it. my pride is hurting a bit (i even had a back-up plan to secure my win), but other than that... more power to her. i had fun collecting donations for the liz fund and playing power hostess. not too shabby at all.
the competition on saturday was a bit of a bust for the guard. but considering the circumstances... i could not be happier with the effort and energy these kids are putting into it. the weather was not conducive to me getting over this bug, though. sigh.
and sunday was breath-taking. slept late. went home. watched football with the fam. had the deep conversation club dinner. wonderful food. mind-blowing conversation. just love.
mmmn mmmn good.
i love this house. i love these boyz. i hope november and december don't go as fast as september and october did.
... who am i kidding ...
she blew the bet out of the fucking water.
not that i'm bitter or anything. ::snort:: actually though, i'm surprisingly ok with it. my pride is hurting a bit (i even had a back-up plan to secure my win), but other than that... more power to her. i had fun collecting donations for the liz fund and playing power hostess. not too shabby at all.
the competition on saturday was a bit of a bust for the guard. but considering the circumstances... i could not be happier with the effort and energy these kids are putting into it. the weather was not conducive to me getting over this bug, though. sigh.
and sunday was breath-taking. slept late. went home. watched football with the fam. had the deep conversation club dinner. wonderful food. mind-blowing conversation. just love.
mmmn mmmn good.
i love this house. i love these boyz. i hope november and december don't go as fast as september and october did.
Sunday, October 20, 2002
i know i know, enough with the annoying quizzes... but this one is just funny!
You are Alkaline Trio. Sorry.
Find which of Mike's least favorite bands you are.
quiz created by mikey.
You are Alkaline Trio. Sorry.
Find which of Mike's least favorite bands you are.
quiz created by mikey.
Friday, October 18, 2002
move faster.
between three and five pages.
i can't come to rehersal tomorrow.
can you spot me a few bucks?
fill out your time sheet.
it's your turn to take out the trash.
when are you coming home this week?
that will be $60.
i can't make it tonight.
will you drive?
you are two payments behind.
geezes, your room is a mess.
call me.
you're going to need to bring it in for repairs.
how can you be so disorganized?
damn, you are getting old.
i need a little more from you.
why can't you be a better friend?
your father is waiting to hear from you.
we need to buy them a present.
can i get a ride?
aren't you graduating this year?
why don't you have a boyfriend?
maybe you are gay.
paychecks won't be in until next week.
you could stand to lose about 20 lbs.
always too busy for me.
do you ever check your email?
it's going to be fine.
oh, so you haven't been to church lately.
why did you miss class?
can you come in early tomorrow?
you always look so tired.
i only see us as friends.
you never answer your cell phone.
can i ask you for some advice.....?
between three and five pages.
i can't come to rehersal tomorrow.
can you spot me a few bucks?
fill out your time sheet.
it's your turn to take out the trash.
when are you coming home this week?
that will be $60.
i can't make it tonight.
will you drive?
you are two payments behind.
geezes, your room is a mess.
call me.
you're going to need to bring it in for repairs.
how can you be so disorganized?
damn, you are getting old.
i need a little more from you.
why can't you be a better friend?
your father is waiting to hear from you.
we need to buy them a present.
can i get a ride?
aren't you graduating this year?
why don't you have a boyfriend?
maybe you are gay.
paychecks won't be in until next week.
you could stand to lose about 20 lbs.
always too busy for me.
do you ever check your email?
it's going to be fine.
oh, so you haven't been to church lately.
why did you miss class?
can you come in early tomorrow?
you always look so tired.
i only see us as friends.
you never answer your cell phone.
can i ask you for some advice.....?
Thursday, October 17, 2002
"Good Deed"
so as i was walking through the can of sardines that was Lot 1 today, i noticed that i was about to cross paths directly with another student. female, black, kinda bulky. i made eye contact with her and started to hesitate so she could pass me first. but instead, she stopped dead in her tracks and coldly said "go ahead... i'm not going to fight with you over who goes first." i smiled at first and thanked her. and that was the end. but as i walked farther... i started to get upset. like, pms upset.
why did she assume that i was going to fight with her over who goes first? why did she feel it necessary to say that phrase to me? it was like she knew she was the bigger person just by looking at me. like i am, by default, an inconsiderate, rude person.
funny how a seemingly "good deed" on her part can end up making me feel shitty.
bitch.
... so just for clarification ... a good deed is not that good if the only reason you do it because you assume someone else is going to be a dick about it. give people a freaking chance. this makes me sad, not only because of how i was treated, but because she thinks this way about people.
maybe i'm just over-reacting, but... that totally irked me all afternoon.
why did she assume that i was going to fight with her over who goes first? why did she feel it necessary to say that phrase to me? it was like she knew she was the bigger person just by looking at me. like i am, by default, an inconsiderate, rude person.
funny how a seemingly "good deed" on her part can end up making me feel shitty.
bitch.
... so just for clarification ... a good deed is not that good if the only reason you do it because you assume someone else is going to be a dick about it. give people a freaking chance. this makes me sad, not only because of how i was treated, but because she thinks this way about people.
maybe i'm just over-reacting, but... that totally irked me all afternoon.
yep. i'm definitely having some issues with sleep again. not good. just- what a mess.
friday will be fun. i hope.
oh yeah... i'm writing a novel next month. maybe that will be the pick me up i need. check it out: nanowrimo. werd.
friday will be fun. i hope.
oh yeah... i'm writing a novel next month. maybe that will be the pick me up i need. check it out: nanowrimo. werd.
Wednesday, October 16, 2002
Tuesday Tradition
surprisingly wonderful evening. could have been better, but hey. i'm satisfied. and it ended with a "booty" call from my friend and yours, matt "i'm a retard and still can't get over shit that happened a year ago and i am in denial about my own assholey prickness" stohrer.
woot. i say woot because i just hung up on him. if nothing else... i can honestly say that i have closed that chapter on my life... and he is not ever going to be able to get to me in any way ever again.
what a moron.
right. so i also did a bangin job (i think) on my exam today and we watched a rad video in class called Eve's Bayou. AND I was able to take a nap.
I also have strategerized my plan for winning the bet this friday. ::evil temptress grin::
::hiccup:: yeah. that's drunk shit-talk at it's best.
i swear, i'll blog goodness again asap.
don't give up on me jsut yet!
woot. i say woot because i just hung up on him. if nothing else... i can honestly say that i have closed that chapter on my life... and he is not ever going to be able to get to me in any way ever again.
what a moron.
right. so i also did a bangin job (i think) on my exam today and we watched a rad video in class called Eve's Bayou. AND I was able to take a nap.
I also have strategerized my plan for winning the bet this friday. ::evil temptress grin::
::hiccup:: yeah. that's drunk shit-talk at it's best.
i swear, i'll blog goodness again asap.
don't give up on me jsut yet!
Saturday, October 12, 2002
Just in case you didn't read yer mom:
Tony Lucca: Twenty Somethin
runnin out of money
runnin out of gas
runnin out of reasons to refill my half-empty glass
i can't seem to manage
i can't seem to care
i can't seem to find an answer that wasn't already there
same old, now
same old, now
same old, now
same old
i'm feelin twenty somethin
i'm feelin twenty somethin
runnin out of money
runnin out of gas
runnin out of reasons to refill my half-empty glass
i can't seem to manage
i can't seem to care
i can't seem to find an answer that wasn't already there
same old, now
same old, now
same old, now
same old
i'm feelin twenty somethin
i'm feelin twenty somethin
oh i had some time on my hands..........
Hugh Grant
Thought you drive a British sports car you are most likely to have a blowout in LA.
Take the Brit Quiz at
www.darrenlondon.tripod.com/britquiz1.htm
Quiz written by Daz
Which Star-Crossed Marvel Lover Are You?
Which Empire Records Character Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty
Which My So-Called Life Character Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty
What's Your Sexual MO? Find out @ She's Crafty
Who's Your Inner Music Industry Diva? Find out @ She's Crafty
Would you survive a horror movie? Find out @ She's Crafty
You are Ani Difranco!
Self-obsessed and self-possessed,you are a strong woman with a social conscience,
who centers her life around her art. You pour your life experience and passion
into your art, presenting ideas that resonate deep in the souls of others.
Take the "Which Empowered Female Artist Are You" Quiz
made by
Thursday, October 10, 2002
rain + liz = late
there is this picture on the "wall of important dead guys" in the engineering department. the doode looks like Mr. Bean. it makes me giggle every time i look at it.
tee hee.
tee hee.
Weird.
Ok, now. Sit down for this. I was organizing some of my writing this evening and thought it would be cool to see what (if anything) I had written about last october. Well... man... look what I found:
October 12, 2001
What is the matter with me?
I'm too idealistic. Too romantic. Too hopeful
I'm too picky
I'm too wrapped up in other areas of my life to do anything about my lack of emotional attachment to anyone...
I haven't found more than a few choice people to actually bother sharing myself with. It seems like no one else would really care... or share themselves with me in return
Yes I'm talking about relationships. I'm talking about sexual attraction. I'm talking about being in love
I'm not going to pretend that something is there just because it would be really nice if there was
I'm not going to fool myself into liking anyone just because I'm lonely... just because I'm a ridiculously large ball of sexual frustration
NO way. I'm better than that
I haven't felt something for someone like that in a long time. Sometimes I doubt that I ever have. I have forgotten what it's like.
................................
ummn, walk around in circles much? craziness.
October 12, 2001
What is the matter with me?
I'm too idealistic. Too romantic. Too hopeful
I'm too picky
I'm too wrapped up in other areas of my life to do anything about my lack of emotional attachment to anyone...
I haven't found more than a few choice people to actually bother sharing myself with. It seems like no one else would really care... or share themselves with me in return
Yes I'm talking about relationships. I'm talking about sexual attraction. I'm talking about being in love
I'm not going to pretend that something is there just because it would be really nice if there was
I'm not going to fool myself into liking anyone just because I'm lonely... just because I'm a ridiculously large ball of sexual frustration
NO way. I'm better than that
I haven't felt something for someone like that in a long time. Sometimes I doubt that I ever have. I have forgotten what it's like.
................................
ummn, walk around in circles much? craziness.
Wednesday, October 09, 2002
i feel as though i need to vent about some of the shit that has happened to me over the past week or so just so everyone can kinda understand why i currently have a headache and why i am not the ray of sunshine you all have become accustomed to. ::cough::
so going backwards...
~ I have been posting for 2 hours straight. For those of you fortunate enough not to know what that term means... it is updating student's record and grades on their curriculum sheet, and, in essense, staring at our good friend SIS.
~ Like I mentioned earlier, another colorguard rehearsal has been cancelled and so now I'm wiggin' about their performances in competition coming up. And now Dawn and I hafta work out more choreography without a tape of the music and basically guess and check our way through. ::fingers crossed::
~ I missed HLHP's Career Expo today. I didn't even know we had one... and of course because I skipped my 10am in MMH, I missed the fair. So even though I found out there was a fair last minute, I am not dressed up enough, don't have my resume with me and it takes too long to walk to my car and get back in time.
... OMG how i adore butterscotch candy...
::cough:: sorry...
so going backwards...
~ I have been posting for 2 hours straight. For those of you fortunate enough not to know what that term means... it is updating student's record and grades on their curriculum sheet, and, in essense, staring at our good friend SIS.
~ Like I mentioned earlier, another colorguard rehearsal has been cancelled and so now I'm wiggin' about their performances in competition coming up. And now Dawn and I hafta work out more choreography without a tape of the music and basically guess and check our way through. ::fingers crossed::
~ I missed HLHP's Career Expo today. I didn't even know we had one... and of course because I skipped my 10am in MMH, I missed the fair. So even though I found out there was a fair last minute, I am not dressed up enough, don't have my resume with me and it takes too long to walk to my car and get back in time.
... OMG how i adore butterscotch candy...
::cough:: sorry...
I miss my Joe-Nell.
AmongStarz: ::hug::
Sugar Baby 8i8: hey!
Sugar Baby 8i8: how are you?
AmongStarz: ugh
Sugar Baby 8i8: that good huh?
AmongStarz: just more and more poopiness.
AmongStarz: your profile is wonderful
AmongStarz: i have gotta say...
AmongStarz: you two are in part one of the only reasons i have faith in love.
Sugar Baby 8i8: what's poopy?
AmongStarz: too much to even get into
Sugar Baby 8i8: i'm sorry
AmongStarz: but i'd hafta say the number one poop
AmongStarz: that would make all the other poop not really matter
AmongStarz: is the fact that i feel very alone.
Sugar Baby 8i8: why do you feel alone?
AmongStarz: same reasons i always have
AmongStarz: no one im really close to
Sugar Baby 8i8: i mean other than me not being there
AmongStarz: no time to foster any real relationships
Sugar Baby 8i8: you have me
AmongStarz: no one really has a clue what i do all day
AmongStarz: or what i believe in and stand for
Sugar Baby 8i8: i know that feeling
AmongStarz: im like runnin this marathon and have no one to run with or anyone even watching
Sugar Baby 8i8: i'm watching... just via satellite
AmongStarz: all i get is negative feedback
AmongStarz: making fun of guard
AmongStarz: my major
AmongStarz: what i wanna do with my life
AmongStarz: mad at me that i have no free time
AmongStarz: people talking about how sorry they feel for me
AmongStarz: im so sorry i am dumping on you
Sugar Baby 8i8: feel sorry for you? why because you have found something that you are passionate about and you make it happen
AmongStarz: i just wanted to say hello and smile because you are here.
Sugar Baby 8i8: first of all anyone who shits on you for your plans for your life isn't worth you making time for them
AmongStarz: they feel sorry for me because i am too nice... i care too much... i have to work so much... etc
AmongStarz: they dont shit on me
AmongStarz: they just poke fun
AmongStarz: tell me im not gonna make any money
AmongStarz: or get anywhere
Sugar Baby 8i8: they're wrong
AmongStarz: how im slacking and need to get a job asap
Sugar Baby 8i8: you have a job
AmongStarz: how im not on top of things
AmongStarz: no like a real job
AmongStarz: get an internship
AmongStarz: hurry hurry hurry
AmongStarz: stop wearing jeans and t-shirts
AmongStarz: lose weight
AmongStarz: youll never get a guy if you don't smile
AmongStarz: stop doing guard
Sugar Baby 8i8: i wish i could kick them all in the shins
Sugar Baby 8i8: really hard...
Sugar Baby 8i8: life isn't about doing what everyone else wants when they want it
AmongStarz: no one seems to like my take on it
Sugar Baby 8i8: it's about making your own way in the world and doing it on your own terms...
Sugar Baby 8i8: and you have plans, so screw their timeline
Sugar Baby 8i8: you have a whole lifetime ahead of you... take your time
AmongStarz: i just wish i had someone who really did care about me
AmongStarz: enough not to talk shit about me
AmongStarz: or secretly hate and be jealous of me
AmongStarz: or someone who would listen and respect my take on things
Sugar Baby 8i8: you need to get rid of the people who make you feel this way
AmongStarz: i dont have time to find anyone new
AmongStarz: u are far away
AmongStarz: no one understands
Sugar Baby 8i8: so transfer here
AmongStarz: lol
Sugar Baby 8i8: live with me... it's cheap...
Sugar Baby 8i8: SU is cheaper and it's a good school
AmongStarz: i cant leave my family.
AmongStarz: i dont even think u all have a family studies program
AmongStarz: thats sad that im actually analyzing this option
Sugar Baby 8i8: it's not sad
AmongStarz: just hug me
AmongStarz: ::snuggle::
Sugar Baby 8i8: ::HUGE HUG::
AmongStarz: when can i come visit
Sugar Baby 8i8: hmm...
Sugar Baby 8i8: you're talking to the girl who is as busy as you
AmongStarz: i know
AmongStarz: i was thinkin late november or early december
Sugar Baby 8i8: pick a weekend in early december and i'll request off
AmongStarz: aight
AmongStarz: ill let u know asap
Sugar Baby 8i8: ok
AmongStarz: something to look forward to
AmongStarz: prolly wont happen, though.
AmongStarz: ugh.
AmongStarz: UGH
AmongStarz: ok i gg work
AmongStarz: mwah i love i miss you thank you for always being there bye bye
Sugar Baby 8i8: bye sweety
Sugar Baby 8i8: MWAH!!
Sugar Baby 8i8: hey!
Sugar Baby 8i8: how are you?
AmongStarz: ugh
Sugar Baby 8i8: that good huh?
AmongStarz: just more and more poopiness.
AmongStarz: your profile is wonderful
AmongStarz: i have gotta say...
AmongStarz: you two are in part one of the only reasons i have faith in love.
Sugar Baby 8i8: what's poopy?
AmongStarz: too much to even get into
Sugar Baby 8i8: i'm sorry
AmongStarz: but i'd hafta say the number one poop
AmongStarz: that would make all the other poop not really matter
AmongStarz: is the fact that i feel very alone.
Sugar Baby 8i8: why do you feel alone?
AmongStarz: same reasons i always have
AmongStarz: no one im really close to
Sugar Baby 8i8: i mean other than me not being there
AmongStarz: no time to foster any real relationships
Sugar Baby 8i8: you have me
AmongStarz: no one really has a clue what i do all day
AmongStarz: or what i believe in and stand for
Sugar Baby 8i8: i know that feeling
AmongStarz: im like runnin this marathon and have no one to run with or anyone even watching
Sugar Baby 8i8: i'm watching... just via satellite
AmongStarz: all i get is negative feedback
AmongStarz: making fun of guard
AmongStarz: my major
AmongStarz: what i wanna do with my life
AmongStarz: mad at me that i have no free time
AmongStarz: people talking about how sorry they feel for me
AmongStarz: im so sorry i am dumping on you
Sugar Baby 8i8: feel sorry for you? why because you have found something that you are passionate about and you make it happen
AmongStarz: i just wanted to say hello and smile because you are here.
Sugar Baby 8i8: first of all anyone who shits on you for your plans for your life isn't worth you making time for them
AmongStarz: they feel sorry for me because i am too nice... i care too much... i have to work so much... etc
AmongStarz: they dont shit on me
AmongStarz: they just poke fun
AmongStarz: tell me im not gonna make any money
AmongStarz: or get anywhere
Sugar Baby 8i8: they're wrong
AmongStarz: how im slacking and need to get a job asap
Sugar Baby 8i8: you have a job
AmongStarz: how im not on top of things
AmongStarz: no like a real job
AmongStarz: get an internship
AmongStarz: hurry hurry hurry
AmongStarz: stop wearing jeans and t-shirts
AmongStarz: lose weight
AmongStarz: youll never get a guy if you don't smile
AmongStarz: stop doing guard
Sugar Baby 8i8: i wish i could kick them all in the shins
Sugar Baby 8i8: really hard...
Sugar Baby 8i8: life isn't about doing what everyone else wants when they want it
AmongStarz: no one seems to like my take on it
Sugar Baby 8i8: it's about making your own way in the world and doing it on your own terms...
Sugar Baby 8i8: and you have plans, so screw their timeline
Sugar Baby 8i8: you have a whole lifetime ahead of you... take your time
AmongStarz: i just wish i had someone who really did care about me
AmongStarz: enough not to talk shit about me
AmongStarz: or secretly hate and be jealous of me
AmongStarz: or someone who would listen and respect my take on things
Sugar Baby 8i8: you need to get rid of the people who make you feel this way
AmongStarz: i dont have time to find anyone new
AmongStarz: u are far away
AmongStarz: no one understands
Sugar Baby 8i8: so transfer here
AmongStarz: lol
Sugar Baby 8i8: live with me... it's cheap...
Sugar Baby 8i8: SU is cheaper and it's a good school
AmongStarz: i cant leave my family.
AmongStarz: i dont even think u all have a family studies program
AmongStarz: thats sad that im actually analyzing this option
Sugar Baby 8i8: it's not sad
AmongStarz: just hug me
AmongStarz: ::snuggle::
Sugar Baby 8i8: ::HUGE HUG::
AmongStarz: when can i come visit
Sugar Baby 8i8: hmm...
Sugar Baby 8i8: you're talking to the girl who is as busy as you
AmongStarz: i know
AmongStarz: i was thinkin late november or early december
Sugar Baby 8i8: pick a weekend in early december and i'll request off
AmongStarz: aight
AmongStarz: ill let u know asap
Sugar Baby 8i8: ok
AmongStarz: something to look forward to
AmongStarz: prolly wont happen, though.
AmongStarz: ugh.
AmongStarz: UGH
AmongStarz: ok i gg work
AmongStarz: mwah i love i miss you thank you for always being there bye bye
Sugar Baby 8i8: bye sweety
Sugar Baby 8i8: MWAH!!
"Do You Have Any Drugs?"
yes. i have a headache.
yes. i am at work and posting a lot of little blurbs because i secretly am avoiding as much work as possible.
well... i guess it isn't that big of a secret.
oh, hello there, entertainment!
yes. i am at work and posting a lot of little blurbs because i secretly am avoiding as much work as possible.
well... i guess it isn't that big of a secret.
oh, hello there, entertainment!
A world of cul de sacs and shopping malls.
"Baby...
I could care less about your smile."
how's that for a hook? damn.
Spat.
how many times are you going to let yourself bleed the dreams from your eyes?
i mean... isn't that what happens when you cry?
i mean... isn't that what happens when you cry?
the sniper shootings have lead to yet another day of cancelled colorguard rehearsal. i don't know how we are going to pick up the pieces... and (if) dawn and i miss thursday's practice for the concert... i just don't see us being very successful.
talk about a dilemma. maybe i'll ask bill to reimburse us for the tickets and just not go. i mean, hah, i actually thought i'd be able to go and enjoy an evening out by seeing one of my favorite songwriters. silly lizzy.
caught in yet another torrential downpour...
talk about a dilemma. maybe i'll ask bill to reimburse us for the tickets and just not go. i mean, hah, i actually thought i'd be able to go and enjoy an evening out by seeing one of my favorite songwriters. silly lizzy.
caught in yet another torrential downpour...
Monday, October 07, 2002
Slightly Updated
well, in case you haven't noticed the menu bar got a little bloated.
you can now check out my host site, my forum (sign up for free!), or all my random stuff. and i posted one hell of a rant on bitter.
so yeah... enjoy!
you can now check out my host site, my forum (sign up for free!), or all my random stuff. and i posted one hell of a rant on bitter.
so yeah... enjoy!
Sunday, October 06, 2002
I'm just so tired of that scene.
Fun is fun... and I had a ton of it.
but.
yes, there is always a BIG but (hardly ever a butt).
i need something more.
i just dunno what it is.
i hope i find it soon. cause i'm gettin' lonely.
but.
yes, there is always a BIG but (hardly ever a butt).
i need something more.
i just dunno what it is.
i hope i find it soon. cause i'm gettin' lonely.
John Mayer:
back to you
it always comes around
back to you
i try to forget you
i try to stay away
but it's too late
over you
i'm never over
over you
there's somethin about you
it's just the way you move...
the way you move me.
i mean, damn. you move me. come here, already.
Saturday, October 05, 2002
PB stikes again!
yes. my job has once again caused massive amounts of poopie drama and badness... however... once again it has also united me with a few very special people who suffer on staff with me.
yummy. pokemon rule.
that is all.
yummy. pokemon rule.
that is all.
Friday, October 04, 2002
Ben Folds: Still Fighting It
last night was one of those nights where something in every area of your life falls completely and hopelessly apart. i'm not going to sit here and try and justify what is going on... but from the start of the day with the sniper on the loose in my neighborhood to the negative happenings with two of the most important men in my life at the end of the day... i couldn't help but cry myself to sleep.
i'm not prepared for my english class today, and that says something. i'm always prepared for english. the worst part is that i really don't give a shit.
i'm crowding my life with a bunch of stuff i am supposed to do... and completely dropping the things that really matter to me. not to get all mushy but, sometimes i really hate this society and all the pressures that i have put on me by other people. i guess i need to grow up and try not to worry about how i effect others... or if i meet all their expectations.
it's starting to hurt because the greatest happiness i get is from other people... but if i don't keep the driving force inside me moving... i won't be able to get anything from anyone. except sadness.
everybody knows
it hurts to grow up
and everybody does
it's so weird to be back here
let me tell you what
the years go on and we're still fighting
and we're still fighting it
and you're
so much
like me...
i'm sorry.
i'm not prepared for my english class today, and that says something. i'm always prepared for english. the worst part is that i really don't give a shit.
i'm crowding my life with a bunch of stuff i am supposed to do... and completely dropping the things that really matter to me. not to get all mushy but, sometimes i really hate this society and all the pressures that i have put on me by other people. i guess i need to grow up and try not to worry about how i effect others... or if i meet all their expectations.
it's starting to hurt because the greatest happiness i get is from other people... but if i don't keep the driving force inside me moving... i won't be able to get anything from anyone. except sadness.
everybody knows
it hurts to grow up
and everybody does
it's so weird to be back here
let me tell you what
the years go on and we're still fighting
and we're still fighting it
and you're
so much
like me...
i'm sorry.
Wednesday, October 02, 2002
Mental Note:
putting a package of hot cocoa in a cup of coffee and then consuming the beverage is not a good idea.
::hiccup::
::hiccup::
Weather Forcast: Built.
so i keep seeing the UMD football team's kicker. I don't remember his name... but you know, the skinny white guy who wants to be a weather man and can bench like 400lbs or something equally rediculous...
yeah.
he's beautiful.
______________________________________________________
what if the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about?
scary thought, no?
______________________________________________________
right. so... we are having party drama at the house. i am not pleased. but i am currently at work and cannot be seen typing away at this thing that long, so i shall have to share the details at a later time. for now... i leave you with my results from an insult test i stole from christina d.
yeah.
he's beautiful.
______________________________________________________
what if the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about?
scary thought, no?
______________________________________________________
right. so... we are having party drama at the house. i am not pleased. but i am currently at work and cannot be seen typing away at this thing that long, so i shall have to share the details at a later time. for now... i leave you with my results from an insult test i stole from christina d.
you damn 311 fan, you.
Take the test, by Emily.
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